The official Newcastle United injury news thread.

Best story by far. Treacherous times out on the golf course

 

See this is why we should stick to our injuries. You can get some horrific news. At least ours are about rolling down hills backwards like a Laurel and Hardy sketch.

 

Feck the injurys at my age I'm just happy to be here

 

I currently have my first ever black eye! Managed to avoid one until my 50s and then got hit in the eye by a traffic cone!!
Superficial injury though so no need to stick me on the injured list!

 

How the **** does one go about getting hit in the eye by a traffic cone?

 

Hit in the eye with a traffic cone?
I think we need to hear the full version of this story Nev.

 

At the last Man City home game we were short staffed so I went out to help lift the road closures. We throw the cones onto the back of a flatbed in stacks of 5 and I misjudged one of my throws. The stack I threw in caught the edge of the stack next to it and the stack tipped and flew back at me hitting me right in the eyeball. ****ing hurt like hell!!

 

I really preferred the version I'd made up in my head.

More to the point that was 2 months ago you soft ****e, you must bruise like a peach

 

What was your version?

 

It was a week ago! Man City's last home game. The Etihad is one of the places we have the contract for.

 

Nowt exciting......2 old blokes pissed up and rather than pulling knives pulled up a traffic cone each and started swinging like a pillow fight.

 

I thought you meant our game v them - All forgiven your not as precious as I thought

 

I've spectated that one before

 

Please tell me one had mustard chino's to complete the picture

 

I first assumed he was just pissed, tried to jump over one but face-planted it instead.

 

Sadly not. They were both dressed to the nines in fancy suits and tails at the Grand National.

 

That's twice now my illusions have been shattered tonight.

 

Throw me one more and I'll go for the hattrick!!

 

Are Sunderland getting promoted this year?