Beat this.....

Popped into the bank this morning in Melton Mowbray and saw a tramp on a bench in the market place supping Yellow Label Wolf Blass out of the bottle.....

Absolute touch of class.

 

I once saw a tramp in a Waitrose in Monmouth...

 

What a guy, keeping it real.

 

So you thought you'd come on here and wine about it?

Sorry, I'm in pun mode.

 

You port to be ashamed of yourself.

 

The snow a few years back was quite bad where I was living and of course I joined in the mad rush to buy supplies as it was obvious we'd be cut off for about a day!

The wife and I raced to the supermarket and I fought tooth and nail to get as much milk as possible. If I didn't have at least 10 pints then I was in trouble. I forgot about the bread aisle and ended up with some picnic pita breads...

The guy in front of me at the check out became my new hero; showing the Blitz spirit at it's best by buying 3 litres of Vodka, bag of ice, 2 ltr bottle of coke and some peanuts.

I was in awe! I was ashamed at my gluttony of milk and pita breads.

 

Why buy ice if there was going to be lots of snow and it was going to be freezing? Just put some water in a bottle and leave outside for 10 minutes.

 

He was that awesome.

 

I was leaving my flat in Middlesbrough to go to work one morning at around 7:45, and there was a bloke with minature bottles of Jack Daniels and Smirnoff. I remember feeling slightly sick at the thought of drinking neat spirits before breakfast...

Another time I was talking to Pissy Kenny, the tramp who used to piss on my front door and he told me he'd been "good today" and had only had 12 cans. Of Special Brew. He used to stand in the middle of the paper shop that I lived above and read the grumble magazines and he used to smell foisty, like wet towels that have been left out for too long.

I miss Middlesbrough.

 

I taught a tramp D, A minor and E on his guitar once because every day I walked past him he was **** and it annoyed the hell out of me.

 

He has recently become mayor of Middlesborough...

 

I asked him if he had any spare change for a cuppa....

 

After the last time I went to Melton Mowbray, I can fully believe you with that

 

When I came up to Newcastle for the Blackpool game last season I came out of the station near the stadium (came in from Gateshead on the metro), and saw an African guy playing a set of african drums. Then a guy came up to him, gave him a tenner, and kicked the **** out of his drums...

Is that normal behaviour up there???

 

What the hell? Crazy. No that is not remotely normal anywhere, even Finland.

I wouldn't mind if somebody kicked the hell out of those native american pan flute fakers with their CDs for sale that seem to congregate in every city in the ****ing world. You can't escape that cheesy, low fidelity sound echoing through the streets with a group of idiots around them thinking theyre being cultural by watching.

 

I can only put the affluency of our quaint market town down to Ashley's long term contract with "Ye Olde Pork Pie Shoppe" to supply him with copious amounts of pies every month.

It's obviously having a knock on effect throughout the local community.


Three cheers for Fat Mike.

 

[video=youtube;1GXGXJgq48U]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GXGXJgq48U[/video]

The best busker ever!

 

Knowing Ensil from the 'Unbeaten' thread, I wouldn't put it past them...

 

But, they stop the world being taken over by guinesauras rexs!

 

Is this the guy from Northumberland Street? If so, I was in Newcastle last month and saw this guy play, he was awesome.