Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

I didn't see that one coming!

 

Our lass is threatening to leave me because she thinks I'm too old fashioned!
I'll wager a sixpence she's courting another gentleman .

 

I've just had my Christmas dinner...
Those slow cookers are f*cking rubbish!!..

 

The bloke who developed the tennis format involving a man and a woman on each team has passed away.

R.I.P. Mick Stubbles.

 

What about the bloke with no knob

Tin Tin

 

Someone just beeped to get me to move from my parking space quicker !

Now I'm going to have to sit here until one of us passes away

 

When I die I want my internet search history to be read out at my funeral. That way all my friends and family will go from being depressed to disgusted.

 

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came to see a therapist. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing."