Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

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That's a bit rum.
Taiwan is sharing tips with the public on how to drink and cook with rum after it bought 20,000 bottles of Lithuanian rum bound for China.

State-run media said Taiwan Tobacco and Liquor Corp (TTL) purchased the rum after learning that it could be blocked from entering China.

It comes after Lithuania established a de facto embassy in Taiwan, a potential sign of growing ties between them.

China downgraded its diplomatic relations with Lithuania days after.

The Lithuanian de facto embassy bears the name Taiwan rather than "Chinese Taipei", the name used by many foreign nations to avoid offending China.

While Taiwan is a self-governed democratic state, Beijing sees it as part of its territory. It has stepped up pressure in the past year to isolate the island from its international allies.


The state-owned TTL said it had been notified by Taiwan's Finance Minister and head of the Taiwanese Representative Office of Lithuania Eric Huang that a batch of rum could be potentially blocked from going into China, according to a report by state-run news outlet CNA.

TTL said it had reason to believe the rum would be blocked as past shipments of beer into China had been blocked, added the report.

Taiwan's National Development Council later said in a post on Facebook that the rum "could not pass through Chinese customs".

It also urged locals to buy rum at the end of January, when the shipment would be on sale and shared recipes for a Dark 'n' Stormy cocktail, and rum- infused French toast, steak and hot chocolate.
 
85-year-old Biker Bob was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. ’

The next day Bob reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the old biker explained, 'Well you see, doc, it’s like this. “First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my old lady for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'We even called up Sally, the Gal next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’ The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

Bob replied, 'Yep, none of us could get that damn jar open.’
 
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SW3 Chelsea Tiger said:
85-year-old Biker Bob was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. ’

The next day Bob reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the old biker explained, 'Well you see, doc, it’s like this. “First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my old lady for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'We even called up Sally, the Gal next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’ The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

Bob replied, 'Yep, none of us could get that damn jar open.’
Click to expand...
<laugh>
 
SW3 Chelsea Tiger said:
85-year-old Biker Bob was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. ’

The next day Bob reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the old biker explained, 'Well you see, doc, it’s like this. “First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my old lady for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'We even called up Sally, the Gal next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’ The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

Bob replied, 'Yep, none of us could get that damn jar open.’
Click to expand...

As soon as I heard that you could donate to the National Sperm Bank by post, I came in a Jiffy!
 
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