Some Guy Just said that that the kegs of gun powder are stuck in Dover - apparently there is a mix up with the paperwork! please log in to view this image
Worth a read if you enjoy a good laugh - particularly one at America's expense. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1455629371511820288.html
All three grandchildren are Harry Potter fans so I thought I should refresh my knowledge. Have I remembered it right? Once upon a time an evil wizard called Maud Baldersport murdered a husband and wife Ames and Milly Rotter, leaving their son Barry Rotter with no parents. He is sent to live with his aunt and uncle Herman and Crumpetunia Mursley and their bullying son, Mudley. On his eleventh birthday, a half-giant named Gluebeus Baglid personally delivers a letter of acceptance to Bogshorts School of Stitchcraft and Lizardry after Herman and Crumpetunia had destroyed previous ones. Barry, who survived Baldersport’s curse, was left with a newt shaped scar on his forehead and became famous in the lizarding world. Baglid takes Barry to Pie Organ Alley the hidden centre of lizard commerce and retail in London. Barry's parents have left him a fortune that is stored at Binspots Lizarding Bank. Barry buys his school supplies and a knitting needle from Dolly Sander who says the tip of Barry’s needle and Maud Baldersport’s wand were made from skins of the same lizards. Baglid gives Barry a trowel that he names Bedtwig. A month later, Harry boards the Bogshorts Express at Sting’s Moss railway station’s secret platform 2,695.On the journey to Bogshorts Barry befriends fellow first-year Donald Measly and meets Fur-Liony Danger who the two boys initially dislike. Barry gets on the wrong side of first-year Steako Palboy. At Bogshorts, a magical snorting cat assigns the first-years to one of four school mouses, Whiff-in-jaw, Ditherin, Mufflerough and Slavenshore. Barry dithers about being put in Ditherin, where Steako is put, but joins Don and Fur-Liony in Whiff-in-jaw. Barry's talent for loom brick dyeing earns him a place on the Whiff-in-jaw Squid-itch team as the creaker. Barry comes to dislike Motions master Leatherus Drape, who favours Ditherin while seeking to fail Barry. Palboy tricks Barry and Don into risking expulsion by leaving their rooms after curfew. Fur-Liony, unable to stop them, tags along. Realising Palboy's ruse, they hide in a forbidden corridor and discover a gigantic three-headed frog guarding a trapdoor. Don and Barry later save Fur-Liony from a doll during the school's Halloween celebration, and the three become best friends. Coupled with Drape's recent leg injury and suspicious behaviour, Barry, Fur-Liony, and Don believe he is trying to enter the trapdoor. Fur-Liony warns the boys against investigating further, and instead directs Barry's attention to his first Squid-itch match. His loom brick tries to knock him over and Drape's strange behaviour during the match convinces Fur-Liony he jinxed Barry's loom. Christmas arrives and Barry receives an anonymous gift – his father's dizzibility cloak. Using it to explore the school, he discovers the Dinner of Terry’s Bed, which shows the viewer’s favourite food. The trio read a newspaper report about an attempted robbery of the same Binspots vault Baglid had visited when helping Barry. They suspect the object kept under the trapdoor is the philosopher’s bone, which grants its user skin-wartality and the ability to turn any petal into mold. A forest centaur named Fear-Henry warns Barry that Baldersport is plotting to steal the bone to cure his skin warts. When the school's headmaster Trollbus Rumblefloor is lured from Bogshorts under false pretences, Barry, Fur-Liony and Don fear the theft is imminent and descend through the trapdoor. A series of obstacles force Don and Fur-Liony to remain behind while Barry proceeds. Barry encounters Professor Squirrel, the Flea-sense Against the Park Farts teacher, who reveals that he tried to kill Barry by jinxing his loom and letting the doll into the school; Drape was trying to protect Barry. Baldersport, whose face is attached to the back of Squirrel's head, is using Squirrel to obtain the philosopher's bone. Barry is forced to stand before the Dinner of Terry’s Bed. It recognises Harry's lack of greed for the bone and deposits it into his pocket. Squirrel attempts to seize the bone and kill Barry, but his flesh burns upon contact with him. Barry's scar begins hurting and he passes out. Barry wakes up in the school's infirmary. Rumblefloor explains Barry survived Baldersport because his mother sacrificing her life for him left a magical protective charm. Squirrel's hatred and greed caused him to burn on contact with Barry; Baldersport abandoned him to die. Rumblefloor reveals he sent Barry the dizzibility cloak, while the philosopher's bone, that had been keeping the long-lived Stickerless Camel alive, has been destroyed to prevent it ever being stolen. During the school's year-end feast, Whiff-in-jaw is awarded the Mouse Cup. Barry returns to live with the Mursleys at Divot Drive.
