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How can TP get more out of Kenwhine Jones.

Discussion in 'Stoke City' started by jowlermonkey, Feb 14, 2011.

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  1. jowlermonkey

    jowlermonkey Well-Known Member

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    He could try painting 2 yellow lines around the pitch and tell KJ that he will get fined if he stops!

    But that would only work in home matches.

    Lets have your ideas people.
     
    #1
    jowlermonkey, Feb 14, 2011
  2. TheRealPotterJub

    TheRealPotterJub Member

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    Take away his trampoline (because come on less face it, he must have spent HOURS practising his goal celebration on a trampoline) :cheesy:
     
    #2
    TheRealPotterJub, Feb 14, 2011
  3. jowlermonkey

    jowlermonkey Well-Known Member

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    He could try spraying the inside of his shorts with deep heat. That will get him moving!!
     
    #3
    jowlermonkey, Feb 14, 2011
  4. TheRealPotterJub

    TheRealPotterJub Member

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    Or the ice cold version! <laugh>
     
    #4
    TheRealPotterJub, Feb 14, 2011
  5. peadar1987

    peadar1987 Member

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    Send Gerry Taggart and Sergei Shtaniuk around to his house before each game. That should wet his legs a bit!
     
    #5
    peadar1987, Feb 14, 2011
  6. jowlermonkey

    jowlermonkey Well-Known Member

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    Or tell him he will have to do tackling practice with Salif D if he doesn't start scoring!
     
    #6
    jowlermonkey, Feb 14, 2011
  7. TheRealPotterJub

    TheRealPotterJub Member

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    "How to solve a problem like *Maria* Kenwyne!"
     
    #7
    TheRealPotterJub, Feb 14, 2011
  8. Fill the corners in its Freezing

    Fill the corners in its Freezing Member

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    Just say

    tony .....**** off i made a mistake

    kenwyne... but boss you paid £8 mill for me

    tony....i dont care i've got tuncay

    kenwyne....but boss didnt you sell him to wolfsburg

    tony .... oh **** yes, but we still have my secret weapon

    kenwyne....who is that boss? Please let me play i'll score boss honest

    tony ... Eidur

    knock at the door in walks ric

    ric..yo kenny baby hows it hanging

    kenwyne...yeh hi ric i think we aint playing this week, boss eidur is gone

    tony ...what you mean he's gone

    kenwyne.. you sent him out on loan to fulham

    tony ....oh **** i'm ****ed

    ric is dancing in the corner of the room & finally catches tony's eye

    tony ........ric,,,,RIC

    ric responds man leave me alone i was dancing

    tony ..ric can you play this weekend?

    ric... noooo mannnn thats why i come to you , i need to fly to jamaica, me uncle died

    kenwyne is in the background going **** **** **** wish i'd have thought of that.

    Tony ...didn't we sign some guy named carew.

    TO BE CONTINUED
     
    #8
    Fill the corners in its Freezing, Feb 14, 2011
  9. TheRealPotterJub

    TheRealPotterJub Member

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    <laugh> you make me laugh!
     
    #9
    TheRealPotterJub, Feb 14, 2011
  10. Fill the corners in its Freezing

    Fill the corners in its Freezing Member

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    Jub <ghost><nahnah>:emoticon-0152-heart
     
    #10
    Fill the corners in its Freezing, Feb 14, 2011

  11. sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband

    sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband Active Member

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    Increase his wage to the 20 spliffs a week
     
    #11
    sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband, Feb 14, 2011
  12. sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband

    sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband Active Member

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    Are you suggesting we get Julie Andrews in?
     
    #12
    sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband, Feb 14, 2011
  13. jowlermonkey

    jowlermonkey Well-Known Member

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    Which he can only have after the match.
     
    #13
    jowlermonkey, Feb 14, 2011
  14. sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband

    sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband Active Member

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    Good idea, while he's at it get Fuller on the same deal.
     
    #14
    sgtpotterslonelyheartsclubband, Feb 14, 2011
  15. jowlermonkey

    jowlermonkey Well-Known Member

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    Fuller may need some before the match so he can't feel his dodgy knees.
     
    #15
    jowlermonkey, Feb 14, 2011
  16. TheRealPotterJub

    TheRealPotterJub Member

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    <ghost> I don't mind a reputation as a vampire :) Could be worse :cheesy:

    Sarge,

    And yeah, that would work, probably! :D
     
    #16
    TheRealPotterJub, Feb 14, 2011
  17. jowlermonkey

    jowlermonkey Well-Known Member

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    Your memory is better than mine!!
     
    #17
    jowlermonkey, Feb 14, 2011
  18. TheRealPotterJub

    TheRealPotterJub Member

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    Wasn't that long ago!!!!!!! ;)
     
    #18
    TheRealPotterJub, Feb 14, 2011
  19. Fill the corners in its Freezing

    Fill the corners in its Freezing Member

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    Please read How can TP get more out of Kenwhine Jones.before you read this

    Peter Coates (PC) & Tony Pulis (TP) in a board meeting

    PC...well tony our 3 year plan is coming up

    TP...OHH **** i forgot about that

    PC ...you did remember our plan?

    TP..Yes i did, sell best players & hope to survive, was that it Peter?

    PC..NO YOU DICKHEAD, play whitehead right back & bring danny pugh in & left back

    TP.. are you sure with that formation peter.

    PC.. yes i've put all my money on BRUM to win 1-0

    TP.. you can't do that, thats illegal.

    PC...Well i own the ****ING FIRM , i'll bet how i want.

    Still to be continued
     
    #19
    Fill the corners in its Freezing, Feb 14, 2011
  20. Pottermouth 328

    Pottermouth 328 Well-Known Member

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    Fill the ....

    Brilliant <laugh><laugh> After reading both parts of that saga, I'm off to the bookies in the morning to put Five Grand on us beating the Gunners. If it doesn't happen I just blame Tony Pulis and ask for my money back!
     
    #20
    Pottermouth 328, Feb 14, 2011
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