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Man jailed for trying to turn poo into gold

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by hbk4894, Oct 20, 2011.

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  1. hbk4894

    hbk4894 Active Member

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    A man who was trying to convert his own faeces into gold has been convicted on the charge of arson.

    Paul Moran from Enniskillen, Northern Ireland had left his faeces on a heater with fertiliser and other waste products when a fire started in his flat, says The Impartial Reporter.

    The court judge presiding the case told him: "Rather bizarrely, you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products.

    "It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist's dream, but wasn't going to succeed."

    Moran, 30, will be jailed for three months after he admitted that he endangered other people's lives as a result of the fire. He was also given a one-month concurrent sentence for throwing his faeces around his holding cell.

    During the trial, his lawyer claimed that Moran was someone of "considerable intellectual ability".

    The total damage done to the flat was reportedly around £3,000 ($4,700).

    From Digital Spy
     
    #1
    hbk4894, Oct 20, 2011
  2. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Irish.
     
    #2
    The Raging Oxter, Oct 20, 2011
  3. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    Interesting.
     
    #3
    Erik, Oct 20, 2011
  4. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    Them Fermanagh people will try anything, quite literally.
     
    #4
    Sam Axe, Oct 20, 2011
  5. I love Leeds United

    I love Leeds United Member

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    Should be renamed "Paul Moron".
     
    #5
    I love Leeds United, Oct 20, 2011
  6. - SW6 -

    - SW6 - Well-Known Member

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    Very.
     
    #6
    - SW6 -, Oct 20, 2011
  7. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    Bloody nanny state
     
    #7
    SUPERNORWICH 23, Oct 20, 2011
  8. Hash.

    Hash. pure daycent

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    Hold on a second ****os, I thought ye always claim norn iron is british :huh:
     
    #8
    Hash., Oct 20, 2011
  9. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Not me. It's all Irelandshire to me.
     
    #9
    The Raging Oxter, Oct 20, 2011
  10. Psychosomatic

    Psychosomatic Well-Known Member

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    Harsh.

    I'm sure he was only trying to give his cell that distressed, antiquey look of a gold leaf finish. Poor guy.
     
    #10
    Psychosomatic, Oct 20, 2011

  11. jenthesaint1990

    jenthesaint1990 Well-Known Member

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    haha
     
    #11
    jenthesaint1990, Oct 20, 2011
  12. Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction

    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction Well-Known Member

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    Them Fermanagh mucksavages are a rare breed alright
     
    #12
    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction, Oct 20, 2011
  13. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    Not civilised like us Tyrone folk.
     
    #13
    Sam Axe, Oct 20, 2011
  14. Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction

    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction Well-Known Member

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    You lot are bumpkins but thats like upper class compared to the mucksavages
     
    #14
    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction, Oct 20, 2011
  15. RebelBhoy

    RebelBhoy Moderator
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    Man trying to turn **** into gold.......

    please log in to view this image


    Midarse
     
    #15
    RebelBhoy, Oct 20, 2011
  16. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Neil Lennon per chance?

    Hes doing his damndest.

    Good luck to him.

    We are all ****ty managers!!
     
    #16
    RAVENBLACK, Oct 20, 2011
  17. THFC6061

    THFC6061 Well-Known Member

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    The total damage done to the flat was reportedly around £3,000 ($4,700).


    So a complete write-off then?
     
    #17
    THFC6061, Oct 20, 2011
  18. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    Bahaha! Brilliant!

    You wait till he gets out of prirson! There will be **** everywhere!
     
    #18
    Sharpe*, Oct 20, 2011
  19. Billy Death

    Billy Death Guest

    He should have just spread it on his walls & carried on a tradition from the H blocks.
     
    #19
    Billy Death, Oct 20, 2011
  20. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
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    dirty protest for sale...
     
    #20
    Null, Oct 20, 2011
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