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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #10981
    Makemstine Roger, Sep 11, 2021
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10982
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 11, 2021
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10983
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 11, 2021
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10984
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 11, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10985
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 11, 2021
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10986
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 11, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10987
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 11, 2021
    San Diego likes this.
  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    Emma Radacanu proves that not all Brits are afraid of US Courts …. <laugh>
     
    #10988
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 12, 2021
    Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck, Makemstine Roger and 3 others like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #10989
    Makemstine Roger, Sep 12, 2021
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive. Apparently the response of "don't worry babe, your tits cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for.
     
    #10990
    Makemstine Roger, Sep 12, 2021
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside the Social Security Offices. ‘ My good man,’the fairy said, ‘ I’ve been told by Boris to grant you three wishes, since you’ve just arrived in Britain with your wife and seven children – all costs to be borne by the British Tax Payers.'
    The man told the fairy: 'Well, in Afghanistan where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'. The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and… PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

    'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go'. The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage on the coast with eight bedrooms – and a Gold Visa Card in each room - for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in Afghanistan; I want to bring them all over here.

    PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music

    'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand. The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and said “I want to be British with British clothes instead of the rags and shawl and I want to have white skin like the British.'
    PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn-out trainers, a dirty Man Utd T-shirt and a greasy baseball hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
    ‘What happened to my new teeth? ‘he wailed. 'Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?'

    The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are British, you're entitled to sweet **** all like the rest of us.
    And she disappeared.
     
    #10991
    Makemstine Roger, Sep 12, 2021
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    The female ref has pulled a red card out of her shorts.

    Hang on, that's not a card
     
    #10992
    Makemstine Roger, Sep 12, 2021
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  13. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    That's like the lesbian who woke up one morning with a lump in her throat.........

    And the string hanging out of her mouth.
     
    #10993
    BluefromBridgend, Sep 12, 2021
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  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    Good win for your boys today - courtesy of a Neath boy <cheers>
     
    #10994
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 12, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two women chatting on the seat in front of me on the bus

    #1 My boyfriend has got terrible dandruff

    #2 Give him Head & Shoulders

    ---short pause----

    #1 How do I give him Shoulders?
     
    #10995
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 12, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10996
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 12, 2021
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10997
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 12, 2021
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  18. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    l had an old girlfriend who got caught at Customs for having 2 kilos of crack in her undies.
     
    #10998
    Didley Squat, Sep 13, 2021
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    fixed for you Didley mate, mind you the smell must have been strong with this one
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    #10999
    Makemstine Roger, Sep 13, 2021
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #11000
    Makemstine Roger, Sep 13, 2021
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Page 550 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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