Johnathan Ross and Russell Brand , not finding much work, decide to rob an off licence After lifting a couple of bottles Brand nervously asks "Is this whisky Jonathan?" "Sure is, but not as whisky as wobbing a bank, now gwab some bacon fwies and wun!"
'A tough gang on motor bikes encountered a young girl looking like she was going to suicide by jumping off a bridge into the river. The head tough guy said, 'Before you jump, can I get a big lingering kiss?' The answer was yes and they kissed passionately. When finished, the tough guy said 'Tell me, why are you committing suicide?' The answer was, 'Cos my parents don't like me dressing in girls clothes'.
A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like hillbillies. The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain’t from West Virginia . This is a Kentucky duck. You got a Kentuckey huntin’ license, boy?” The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kentucky hunting license. The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Kentucky duck. This duck’s from Tennessee. You got an Tennessee license?” The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Tennessee license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said This ain’t no Tennessee duck. This here duck’s from Virginia. . You got a Virginia. huntin’ license?” Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a Virginia. hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly “Just where the hell are you from? “The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said “You tell me, you’re the expert !!"
