Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

The missus just phoned me and the conversation went like this!..
Her: "You know that Gladiator movie that I got you?"
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "Wind it forward one hour, 16 mins and 28 seconds."
Me: "Right, I've done that"
Her: "Okay, you see the gladiator at the front fighting the lion!"
Me: "I can see that, yeah."
Her: "Just behind him, there are two gladiators having a sword fight with each other!"
Me: Okay, I see them."
Her: "Well, behind them two, on the left hand side of the screen, there's a gladiator holding a spear."
Me: "Yes! I can see him!"
Her: Right..! Those are the Sandals I want for my birthday

 

Husband: What do you want for your birthday, dear?
Wife: I'd better not say.....
Husband: C'mon, what do you want? A diamond ring?
Wife: You know I don't care for diamond
Husband: How about a mink coat?
Wife: I already have one.
Husband: Fine then, what do you want?
Wife: What I really want is a divorce.
Husband: Oh! I wasn't planning on spending that much.

 

Susan Boyle has lost a few pounds.

 

I did a spot of dusting and shifted a few cobwebs for my wife last night.
Or foreplay as she likes to call it.

 

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

 

As the Taliban record their PR cover version of "Don't Fear the Reaper" the mood gets a bit tense as the producer demands "more cowbell" in the mix.

 

Just me then is it.