Damn, Sean Lock! This came right out the blue for me. Wasn’t even aware he was ill. Really sad to hear he has died. Such a nutcase. Anyone that makes it their aim in life to make people laugh and smile deserves longer than 58 years.
One of the greatest gifts anyone can give to their fellow human beings is to make them laugh, and Sean had that ability in bucketloads.
Research in Sweden has discovered a group of nerve cells, in a small area of the brain, that regulate our ability to control drinking, as in being able to know when to stop drinking alcohol and then being able to stop. The thought is that 50% or so of heavy drinkers are genetically prone to binge drink as a result of these nerve cells not switching off the desire/need to continue drinking alcohol and the hope is that treatment could be offered to those with drink issues, which could be beneficial to alcoholics, as well as binge drinkers, reducing the death count from alcohol abuse. Tests on rats have been successful, so looking for the human variety of treatment must be in progress.
A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder. The Russian tells him, "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black colour, but colour turns white when grows." "Over there is American bull. Colour when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown." "And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to be light brown colour." The prince says, "I rather like the Turkish bulls. Fine specimens indeed." "Excellent choice, your majesty. But Turkish bull is special. They is bred for royalty, like you. But if you have royal blood, you must be bonding with bull calf when young, before they change colour. Or they will reject you," the Russian explains. "Well", the prince says, "I'm looking for a strong, adult bull. I'm not particularly interested in buying a calf. I rather like this big, beige bull over here." The prince attempts to pet the large Turkish bull. It sniffs his hand, shakes its head in disgust, turns around and kicks the prince with its hind legs. The prince goes flying across the room and lands in a pile of hay. "Where did you get such a horrible beast?! Why did it kick me!?" He splutters. "I told you. From Turkey." The Russian explains. “Is tan bull, can't stand a noble."
As we embark on another fun filled PL season we will no doubt hear endless stories about Liverpool and that dreadful bloody song. Here's the antidote, and now we can all sing along with them.....
A little boy is playing with his train set in the front room when his mum heard the boy say All you f*ckers that want to get on get on and all you f*ckers who want to get off get off. She told him that for using bad language he can go to bed and think about his actions. About 3 hours later she thinks he has suffered enough and allows him to continue playing with his train set. The little boy said would all passengers who would like to get on please get on and would all the passengers who would like to get off please get off. His mum in the kitchen smiles and then heard the boy say If there are any complaints about the 3 hour delay please see the fat bitch in the kitchen
