News just in...... A Taliban spokesman announced to the BBC today, they are now in control of Bradford, Oldham, Luton and Rochdale and expect to have full control of London by the weekend. ...
A rich Australian woman said to her friends that she wanted to have sex with a virgin man. They looked all over Aussyland without success. For months they no luck in finding the type of man she was looking for. Then one day her friend said she had heard of a young fellow who had never been with a woman. Excellent. Lets go and find him. It took them a couple of days to get to his town and when they met she was a little shocked to find he was an Aborigine. She asked him if he had been with a woman before and he confirmed that he had not. Great she said, I've booked the best room at the local hotel. When they got to the hotel it was fantastic so she started getting undressed. She looked round to find the Aborigine moving all the furniture , rolling up the carpets and putting all the ornaments in the corner. What are you doing she asked. Well I've never been with a woman before he said but if they are anything like kangaroos I'm gonna need some space.
One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out the front door, stepping around empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow, Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night!” the postman says. Bob, in obvious pain, replies — “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning.” “We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing Who Am I?” “Is that a game?” the postman asks, all curious. “How do you play that?” Bob replies — “Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our ‘privates’ showing through a hole in the sheet.” “Then the women try to guess who it is.” The postman laughs and says — “Damn, I’m sorry I missed all that fun.” “Well, that’s why I came out to talk to you,” Bob says. “You better lie low for a few days, since your name came up seven times and many of the guys are looking for you.”
