Murphy and O'Brien go out into the woods, they come a clearing and see an abandoned well. Murphy said....”I wonder how deep that well is?” O'Brien scratched his head and said, “There's one way we could figure it out.” Murphy says '”How the feck are we gonna do that then?” O'Brien says, “We drop something down it, we time how long it takes to hit the bottom, you multiply that time by 32 feet per second squared, the rate at which objects fall in a vacuum, subtract a little for wind resistance and we've got the depth of the well.” Murphy says, “What are you going to drop down it?” O'Brien looked all around and he saw this big heavy log lying on the ground. Next he squats down by the log and, using his legs correctly, he gets it up onto his shoulders and staggers over to the edge of the well, tips it up, drops it into the well and they start to count, “One hippopotamus, two hippopotamus, three .................... “ Splash! Murphy said, “Three seconds. Quick, multiply that time 32 feet per second squared....it’s '288 feet!. Subtract a little for wind resistance, let's say 18 feet. The depth of that well is 270 feet deep.” As he finished the calculation Murphy shouts, 'Look Out!” and he pushed O'Brien backwards and a goat flew between them and went head first down the well. Murphy said.... “My God, I've never seen anything like that.” Just then a farmer walks into the clearing and said, “What's going on here boys?” O'Brien says, “We just figured out the depth of this well to be about 270 feet deep and then the strangest thing happened. A goat flew between the two of us and went head first down into the well.” The farmer says, “Thank heaven it wasn't one of my goats.” Murphy says, “How do you know it wasn't one of your goats?” The farmer says, “Because all of my goats are tethered to big heavy logs.”
Didn’t get my usually quiet walk around Southampton Common this morning, owing to the number of early arrivals for the Let’s Rock concert. Unless all the youngsters turn up later, it looks as though the average age of the audience is going to be in the 40s, approaching 50s. I hope the wind is going in the right direction, so that I don’t get to listen to it when it starts.
Did my skydive today. Wow! Just wow! I can't recommend it highly enough. If you're a thrill seeker or an adrenaline junkie you've got to do it!
Micky Mouse goes to see a divorce lawyer about getting a divorce from Mini Mouse. The lawyer said You can't get a divorce on the grounds that she has funny teeth. Micky replied I didn't say she had funny teeth I said she was f*cking Goofy
Feeling good tonight, as some of you know I was made redundant 2 weeks ago after working at Honda for 21 years. Got invited for an interview this morning, and have now been offered the job
So sad, he was one of a kind, a very funny man who didn’t care who he offended, but never said anything hateful or harmful. RIP Sean
Really shocking news. Far too young, had no idea he was fighting cancer. RIP Sean Lock. Not too many comedians make me laugh out loud when watching the tele, but he always did.
