An elderly couple in their eighties hadn't had sex for years. So the wifey thought she would spice things up with a bit of role play. When her husband came from the garden, she jumped out of the cupboard naked except for a cape and shouted "SUPER VAGINA". The husband looked at her and said. "I'll have the Soup".
My friend told me the other day that if the world was about to end, he would f*ck everything that moves... He then asked what I would do... I replied, "Stand perfectly f*cking still"