You may think this is funny now, Roger, but have you seen some of the ridiculous events thay have in the current Olympics? Synchronised swimming and diving, (sorry, Artistic swimming), rhythmic gymnastics, beach volley ball, little bicycle racing and skateboarding. Nothing than can be measured accurately but looks pretty. Whatever happened to Higher, Faster, Stronger?
I was having a cuppa with the wife this morning and she saved me from choking to death on a custard cream. She'd f*cking eaten them all.
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce." "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinities and Lexuses in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim? " asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies
Another couple a few tables away from yours, Roger, just had their food delivered by the waiter. "Ooh, lets eat" says the husband and picks up his knife and fork preparing to dig in. "Oh, wait a minute" his wife says, "At home you always say a prayer before dinner." "Yes" say the hubby, "but at home you cook."
