Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

It may be.

But the weird thing about tyres i have noticed is that they always go flat at the bottom. Weird.

 

Michael is the vicar of a Protestant parish in Dublin and Father Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road.
One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says:

The End Is Near.
Turn Yourself Around Now,
Before It’s Too Late

As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells...."Leave people alone, you religious nutters. We don't need your lectures."

From around the next curve they hear screeching tyres and a big splash.

Shaking his head, Father Patrick says "That’s the third accident this morning."
"Yea,"....Michael agrees, then adds...."Do ya think maybe the sign should just say ….

Bridge Ahead Closed!

 

https://images.app.goo.gl/EMzFsL6eU9gaVmSH7

 

I do like the film Elektra but for the life of me I can't think why?


https://images.app.goo.gl/msbF7CoUg9JHUE8D6

 

An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land, and the leader of the captors said, 'We're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn.

But first, you each can make a final wish.'

The Englishman responds, 'I'd like to hear "God Save The Queen" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune.'

The Irishman replies, 'I'd like to hear "Danny Boy" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.'

The Welshman answers, 'I'd like to hear "Men Of Harlech" just one more time to remind me of the country, sung as if by the Treorchy Male Voice Choir.'

The Scotsman says quickly,

‘I'd like to be shot first.'

 

Idiot .

it’s because the band on her left arm means something I would imagine

 

You're right that's exactly what it was ​

 

Three elderly men, Eddie, Brian and Martin men go to the doctor's for their memory test.

It's actually a miracle they remembered the appointment!

Anyway, the doctor begins by asking Eddie, "What is five times five?"

“191," is his reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to Brian, "It's your turn.

What is five times five?"

“Wednesday," replies Brian.

The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man,

“Okay Martin it's your turn. What's five times five?"

“Twenty five," says Martin.

“That's great!" says the doctor.

“How did you get your answer?"

“Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday."

 

I took my recently demised monkeys to the taxidermist for stuffing. "Do you want them mounting?" he asked "No I said. Just shaking hands will be fine".

 

Proper storm outside interrupting my beauty sleep.

 

Yeah I got woken twice by that too.

 

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are
in Seine.

 

Reminds me of Alan Partridge .

 

Cracking thunderstorm here as well , Not seen one for years !

 

Lol i missed them all. I am partially deaf in one ear so always sleep on my good ear so i can't hear anything in the night. I asked Mrs No7 this morning "Did it rain last night?" and she just looked at me incrediously