Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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And Matt Hancock will be sat on his own watching the box set of 'Shameless'

 

Do you think she's Venetian ....

 

No just a bit blind when she got dressed this morning

 

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A lady golfer is playing when she gets stung by a bee. In agony she returns to the clubhouse where the captain sees her coming in tears.
“What happened to you”?
“I’ve been stung by a bee”
“Oh you poor thing, where abouts”?
“Between the first and second hole”
“Ahhh” he said “stood with your legs too far apart”

 

I said "no comment " all the way through the police interview.

I didn't get the job.

 

Watch out for the latest scam phone call.

The caller says "You have won £1,000,000 or Tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute Concert . . . . just press 1 for the money or 2 for the show."

 

A local Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in Dublin.
“Father, it’s been almost a month now since my last confession…and I was intimate with Fanny Green three times in the last two weeks.”
The priest told the sinner, “You are forgiven, now go and say three Hail Mary’s”

Later that day another man entered the confessional
“Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Fanny Green four times a week for the past two months”
This time, the priest questioned, “Who is this Fanny Green?”
“A beautiful woman who has recently moved into the area father”, he replied.
“Very well”, sighed the priest, “Go and say ten Hail Mary’s.”

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, long legged voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly walked up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest.
Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, just enough for them to realise that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered,
“My goodness, is that Fanny Green?”

The altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, “No Father, I think it’s just a reflection from her shoes”

 

I was really tired at work and needed a break so wondered which European capital would be the most appropriate ...

... for some reason I decided on Bucharest