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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10601
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2021
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    #10602
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2021
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    #10603
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2021
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    #10604
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2021
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    #10605
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2021
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    #10606
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2021
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    #10607
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2021
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    #10608
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2021
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    #10609
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2021
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    #10610
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

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    #10611
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2021
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    #10612
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 2, 2021
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    #10613
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 2, 2021
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    Vladimir Putin wanting to appeal to the voters goes to visit a school in Moscow.
    He talks to the children about how Russia is a powerful and also a generous nation and how he wants the best for the people.
    At the end of the talk there is time for questions.
    little Sasha puts up her hand and says “ I have two questions. Why did Russia invade Crimea and why did we send troops to Ukraine. ?
    Putin says, “ good questions “ Just as he is about to answer the bell goes and the kids go to lunch.
    When they come back they sit down and there is time for more questions.
    Little Misha puts up her had and says “I have four questions. Why did Russia invade Crimea, why did we send troops to Ukraine, why did the bell go 20 minutes early and where is Sasha ? “
     
    #10614
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2021
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    #10615
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2021
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    #10616
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2021
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    The Pope was having a shower. Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air. "Hold on a minute!" said the Pope, You can't do that - you'll destroy the reputation of the Church!". "This is my lottery win", said the photographer, "I'll be financially secure for life with these photos!" So, the Pope offered to buy the camera from the photographer, and after much negotiation, they eventually settled on a figure of $2,000,000. The Pope clothed himself and headed off to destroy the images on the camera. Along the vast Vatican hallways, he bumped into his personal housekeeper. Being a bit of a photography buff, she noticed the camera and said, "That looks like a really expensive digital SLR camera, how much did it cost you?" Not being one to lie, the Pope replied, "Two million Dollars.." "TWO MILLION Dollars!" replied the housekeeper, they must have seen you coming!!!!!
     
    #10617
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2021
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #10618
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2021
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #10619
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2021
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
    A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
    The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him.
    They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."
    "That's correct", said the boss.
    Another glass. "It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels."
    "Correct." The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
    She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.
    "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who's the father!"
    The boss collapsed.....
     
    #10620
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2021
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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