They would have been better with a short arsed moustachioed lookalike singing "Springtime For Hitler And Germany".
Spaghetti Metal. Talking of which, anyone else thinking we should get Fields of the Nephilim to enter a song next year?
I did not see/hear any of the acts before the show, other than the UK entry that has been played on Radio 2 quite a bit. I did not think we had any realistic chance now that the show voting has become so politicised but I did not think that it was a nul pointer. In this country I think most of the people that watch are us older folks who used to watch it back in the day when the late legend Terry Wogan did the commentary. Nobody was watching for the songs – most of which were dreadful – but just for Terry’s sarcastic send up of the whole thing. Graham Norton does a pretty good job of not taking it too seriously. So having only heard 25 of the songs once, I could not believe that I was actually cheering for the French lass when the ‘voting’ started. The start of the show made me laugh when they had the four hosts lined up in height order, the tallest a butch blonde lass with tattoos in a purple dress. I did wonder if she was actually a ‘woman’. Apparently she has 14 million followers on YouTube, but she’s never appeared in any “recommended for you” list when I have been on it. Minx watch had not gone too badly. The very first act, Elena from Cyprus, was not wearing very much and was singing about how she gave her heart to El Diablo – the devil – so no wonder the Orthodox Church of Cyprus did not approve. It was nothing to do with her baring too much flesh. Albania’s Anxhela was another in a not much sparkly silver number. Belgium’s lass looked like a blonde version of Lulu but she did not have a great voice. I wonder how the Russian managed to get away with effectively doing a protest song given Eurovision’s supposed ban on politics. I had to laugh at the staging for the big lass from Malta, fully covered up but with four skinny dancers in bright purple distracting you from her. Not exactly Meghan Trainor. In a close call, I think Serbia probably won the Minx of the Night award because they had three of them in their kinky boots and tight black costumes. The 18 year old singing for Greece certainly was no relative of Nana Mouskouri but she was a minx. Plus Natalia from Moldova, another with not a great deal of costume, but she continued the musical theme of those smaller countries with their techno-pop songs. I felt that we should start an online collection for the girl from Bulgaria as it appeared that all they could afford for her costume was some dark PPE from Sofia hospital or was it a pyjama suit from Primark? Well done to Graham for pointing out that the Ukraine’s singer was “wearing Orville” with her fluffy pea green top. I wonder if the French singer Barbara is the only girl in France called Barbara. She was very French in style, the song was very passionate; and I have no doubt that a committee at French TV spent several days discussing the minimalist presentation with her standing in a tight black number backlit by a single light. Very Paris left bank. Minx watch returned with Efendi for Azerbaijan, with her four dancers also not wearing very much. How long have Norway been in this competition doing heavy metal songs and getting virtually nothing? They put up a guy doing a pop song and Italy put up the slash metal act and end up winning on the public vote. Somebody in Oslo will be tearing their hair out. I bet the Norwegian public all voted for Italy along with Finland. It would have been hilarious if it had been won by one of the minnows like Moldova – would they have a venue big enough to stage it? Or if Albania had won and the local mafia staged it. How would they do it in Iceland? Charter a 747 and fly everyone there or divert trawlers to go and pick people up. I wonder how many people were watching in that far flung corner of Europe called Australia. Italy desperately needs as many people to go there as possible next year to spend as many Euros as possible to help them stave off bankruptcy – although the Germans may have foreclosed before next May comes around.
"Now that the show voting has become so politicised"? When has the voting ever not been politicised? That is half the fun when Cyprus give Greece 12 points and vice versa but give Turkey nothing.
The best bit was when the Italian lead singer snorted a line of coke on live TV and his mate gives him a nudge
