My mate's wee brother

Was speaking to my mate the other day and he was telling me that his wee brother(who is about 14) slapped some old **** with pish stained jeans on the train the other day. This guy came on to the train wearing a T-shirt of some South American terrorist and was trying to bully some Chinese tourists and steal their cameras, so my mate's wee brother slapped the ****er on the back of the head and burst his nose off the window, sending his gay hat to the floor. The guy turned round covered in claret and started shouting something that wasn't really recognisable, although my mate's brother, said he definitely heard the words, "meat feast pizza". Anyway, next thing the woman ticket collector, chucks the **** off, as the cheeky ****er didn't even have a ticket. Is it any wonder us Scots have a bad name down in London?

 

You sound gay.

 

Haha, FFS, I really must sound gay if you of all people are saying it.

 

meat feast

 

Gaydar sweetie. PM me xxx

 

Who the **** is Scottish? The piss stained jakie or the tough guy that batters tramps?

It doesn't really matter anyway because they've actually missed a trick, if this had been caught on camera he could have sold it as Bumhunter:The Next Generation.

PS Actually on second thoughts the story is a lie, there's no way any 14 year old would do anything like this without filming it, so unless it's on youtube it ain't true!!!

PPS On second second thoughts I just noticed the significance of the "meat feast pizza" comment!

 

Bumhunter:The Next Generation.

 

FFS Columbo, it is in reference to Dev's story on the "most hated nation in the UK" thread!

 

Your pal talks ****e or you talk ****e or his wee brother talks ****e. I would have been easier to just type ****e.

 

Wakey wakey Thomas FFS!

 

For what it`s worth I got it Mona

 

it made me laugh to wonder what dev was actually dressed like that he might assume the ups guy thought he was a beggar

 

Thank you Trev, YeOldeBlueGas and Jordan. The rest of you can go and take a **** to yourselves!

 

our russ certainly has a temper on him. imagine threatening a teenager on a packed train with extreme violence all because he was sticking up for a young japanese tourist who cant even speak english never mind broad scots.

SQA indeed

 

Bitch.

 

Dev disny like meat feast pizza

 

**** you monaco you no idea of the day I've had, another word and you'll be ****ting keys.

 

Pity my story happened in Paris then.

 

Yes, but I was merely stating that you mentioned it on "most hated nation in the UK" thread. You should have qouted the bit that I said, " no wonder us Scots get a bad name in London", that would have made more sense! Anyway, relax, it was supposed to be a bastard joke!