Or the old Irish flag please log in to view this image please log in to view this image Or maybe People from Florida? please log in to view this image Or maybe monacoger is talking pish?
Wha’s Like Us – Damn Few And They’re A’ Deid The average Englishman, in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. En route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland. He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland. At the train station he boards a train, the forerunner of which was a steam engine, invented by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland. He then pours himself a cup of coffee from a thermos flask, the latter invented by James Dewar, a Scotsman from Kincardine-on-Forth. At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by James Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland. During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith of Dumfries, Scotland. He watches the news on his television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, And an item about the U.S. Navy, founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland. He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorised its translation. Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots. He could take to drink, but the Scots make the best in the world. He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland. If he escapes death, he might then find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, which was discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland. Or under anaesthetic, which was discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland. Out of the anaesthetic, he would find no comfort in learning he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland. Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask “Wha’s Like Us”. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When we arrived to catch the Eurostar we were running very late, so late that one of the staff was unwilling to let us even attempt to check in however another kind-hearted soul took pity on us and let us try. Suffice to say I was stressed out of my nut. We had about 10 minutes to go through passport control and the luggage scanners. We ran like hell and just got on the train as the doors closed behind us. As the guy had shepherded us onto the train carriage I assumed that this was the carriage on which our seats were reserved. I left the rest of the family in the corridor and went in to find our seats which were occupied. I went into the next carriage to double check and confirmed that these were indeed our seats. I spoke to two young Chinese guys and said âI think these are our seatsâ, they were unsure but went to get up anyway but the student type sneered that there was some mistake, I (temper rising) assured him there was no mistake. He then asked which carriage my seats were for, needless to say we were in the wrong carriage and I immediately offered my apologies and turned on my heel. As I did so I heard him say from the safety of the window seat (his girlfriend between me and him) âmaybe next time you should not come in here with that attitudeâ. Iâm afraid sanity deserted me and I leaned over his wee bird and held my face inches from his and I said (Iâm paraphrasing slightly) âmate, you donât know what Iâve been through today but if you say another ****ing word I will push your head through that ****ing windowâ. Fortunately for him (and me I suppose) he knew when to keep quiet and no more words were required. As an afterthought I laughed to myself as to what must have been running through his mind when he was threatened by a 50 something in combat jacket and a Che Guevara T shirt. True story.
