Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

An 85 year-old man went to a brothel. “I would like a girl please,” he said.
“I’m sorry?” said the woman at the reception desk.
“I would like a girl, please,” said the old man.
“How old are you?” said the woman
“Eighty-five,” he replied.
“Eighty-five? You’ve had it mate,” she said.
“Oh, have I?” said the old man. “How much do I owe you?”

 

You probably think that you know the story of Noah’s Ark, think again, because here’s the real story:

God appeared to Noah and he told him “ It’s going to rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I want you to build an Ark. It has to be 30 cubits wide and 60 cubits long and 2 stories high“ Noah replied “ I guess you want me to fill it with birds and animals.”
God said, “ No, fish mainly, particularly carp. “ And Noah replied “ Ah! You want a two story carp Ark ? “

 

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My car wouldn't start today.

So I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat, sitting on the engine.

It was a very polite bat, who said "hello sir, you are a handsome man, and very nicely dressed, too"

I could see the problem straight away . . .





Bat flattery.....

 

If he said you were handsome, now I know where the saying as blind as a bat comes from!

 

I dunno how do the clapping hands thingy.....but that deserves one.

 

Very helpful, thank you.
Clever ****e....

 

Just click the smiley icon when you reply and it's there

 

click reply, click on smiley face top of page, pic a smiley from drop down menu, click done

 

I had a lovely pet bird who's feathers all fell out, it looked really embarrassed and left me forever ...

... it was a blushing crow.

 

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So does mine. Weird.