Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

My friend said she'd got a job in a bowling alley.
I said: "Tenpin?"
She said: "No, it's permanent".

 

He only knows the Eton Wall game.

 

I can think of a game to play involving Etonians, a wall and possibly blindfolds.

 

Pin the tail on the self serving toffee nosed C**T ?

 

Yep. About a .308 calibre tail?

 

Student: I’m glad I wasn’t born in Japan.
Teacher: Why?
Student: I can’t speak Japanese.

 

My friend just told me, "I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water".

I know he means well.

 

No . Even I won’t Like this .

 

Whenever I peel an orange my wife insists on removing all the white stuff too. Is it just me or is she taking the pith?

 

Lol, just came out of a meeting with some developers and as I joined the meeting they were talking about NASA and Space X.

I said oh "Good afternoon, have you heard that the latest mission was delayed as they had to change the main operating system from Microsoft to Linux ?"

"No, really?" was the response....


You can guess my next line

 

What did they say.

 

Lots of groans and "oh ,I suppose that is humour (note the spelling) in the UK"

 

Bloody yanks

 

So many people have lost their jobs during the pandemic and are turning to other work to get by. The last 3 days I’ve had this guy decorating my house, and chatting to him over a coffee it turns out he’s an airline pilot with Ryanair who’s been furloughed, but is doing decorating to pay the bills. It’s putting a strain on his marriage, the kids won’t talk to him, but I have to say he did a great job on the landing.

 

Get him to do the stairs next . One flight at a time .....

 

I hope his business takes off

 

Or is he just winging it?