A tramp went up to an expensive looking house and knocked gently on the front door. The rich owner answered and the tramp asked if he could supply him with some food. The wealthy man said, “I didn’t become rich by giving stuff away for free but I tell you what – if you go out the back and paint my porch, in return you will receive a fine meal.” After about twenty minutes, the tramp returns and knocks at the front door and the owner says, “Wow! Finished already. That was quick. Take a seat and my cook will bring you the food.” “Thanks” said the tramp, “But you should know one thing – that’s a BMW you have out back, not a Porsche!”
A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whisky. When the bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks, "Where is everybody?" "They've gone to the hanging." "Hanging? Who are they hanging?" "Brown Paper Pete," "What kind of a name is that?" "Well, he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes." "What are they hanging him for?" "Rustling."
