Just trying to gauge people’s opinion, how much do you think I should spend on a bottle of wine? Is 15 minutes too long?
One of my zany relations bought us some of these for Christmas ... ... nice thought but they don't half make your bum sore please log in to view this image
Well it's kicked off in my house tonight. The mrs is watching some life choice bullshìt American program and one of the commentators said "if you constantly think of something that you want it will come to you". I just said "that's bollocks, i used to wish for a rich, fit woman with big tits but got lumbered with you, love". No fookin sense of humour wimmin and I've just realised that she hasn't made tea yet ffs
Read that three times nig and still can't see why she would get upset. Do you think you should have left ,'love' out cos that sometimes offends?
Made it worse mate. She told me she was trying to think positive and pointed out the things i moan about. I said "keep thinking about my todger and you can have a bit of it, the moaning will be all yours then". She's fooked off out
When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?" Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb
At our local chippy, they still use old newspaper to wrap up their fish and chips. Yesterday I got a plaice in the sun
