My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window is it for sale." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."
It's not mine man . It's a WhatsApp. Ah was looking for a pic of belly pork but only had an old one on Google cloud. Mines still got a polo neck. Am nee Jew
When I was younger I pulled this really posh rich lass. We were talking about summer holidays and she said she would be going with her family on a six week Caribbean cruise. Wow, that must be costing something I said. Well , she clarified , father does work for Cunard. Aye, I said, my da works his bollocks off anarl, but we're still just going to Shields for a week in the caravan.
Me Dad had a broad Geordie accent and went to the doctor because he had bad pains in both legs. The doctor asked him if he could walk. "Work," he said, "I cannit even walk!"
