It was Xmas Eve a couple doing last minute shopping when her husband disappeared she phoned him on his mobile, "Where are you?? In a calm voice, he replied. "Darling remember the jewellery shop we went in 5 years ago and you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I said one day I would get it for you" her eyes filled with tears, yes I remember" she said. Well I'm in the pub next door to that..
Doctor Ahmed had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: “Ahmed, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won’t be the last. And you are not married. Just let it go.” “But then another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:…… “You sick bastard, you’re a vet.”
I was wondering what to order in Subway. I asked the girl, "do you have any feta cheese?" She leaned closer and whispered, "I like to be tied up."
I've heard that if you have relatives round on Christmas Day the Police can force entry and make them go. Is this a free service?