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Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by TheSecondStain, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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  2. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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    A little boy says to his Dad Why do all the men in our family seem to live to be over a hundred? His Dad replied The secret is to sprinkle a bit of gunpowder over your breakfast every morning son. So the boy does that everyday and lived to be one hundred and ten
    When he died he left behind three kids, nine grandchildren, twenty seven great grandchildren and a bloody great hole where the crematorium used to be
     
    #47902
  3. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

    The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the bread winner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. It's our job to take care of you, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, let's call her the working class. And your baby brother, we can call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

    The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has filled his nappy. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother wearing ear plugs and busy reading. Not getting any response from her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

    The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "That's great, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

    The little boy replies, "Well, the government isn’t listening to the people, capitalism is screwing the working class, and the future is in deep ****."
     
    #47903
  4. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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  5. SaintInKuwait

    SaintInKuwait Well-Known Member

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    Did you know that Stephen King has a son named Joe? I'm not joking, but he is.
     
    #47905
  6. Schrodinger's Cat

    Schrodinger's Cat Well-Known Member

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    What about his less talked about son, Wayne?
     
    #47906
  7. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    I didn’t realise this was “pretend to be 12” day.
     
    #47907
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  8. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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    Karl Marx had a sister who invented the starting pistol, named Onya.
     
    #47908
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  9. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    Unsurprisingly, he writes under the name Joe Hill....probably only so much teasing you can take.
     
    #47909
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  10. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    His other son is a called Coo and is a great chef apparently.
     
    #47910
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  11. fatletiss

    fatletiss Well-Known Member

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  12. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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    Did he have another son, a sex advisor named Foo?
     
    #47912
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  13. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    And don't forget the clumsy one, Braigh
     
    #47913
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  14. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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  15. SaintInKuwait

    SaintInKuwait Well-Known Member

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    Don’t even mention his OTHER child Lee King. The worst plumber I’ve ever used!
     
    #47915
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  16. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    <laugh> You win!
     
    #47916
  17. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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    And the one with the pale complexion, Wan.

    Gosh it’s great to be back at school.
     
    #47917
  18. woolstonian

    woolstonian Well-Known Member

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    And the landscape gardener, Dec
     
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  19. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    And what about the son who was the mother of movies.

    film-ma King
     
    #47919
  20. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    And the one who liked getting in cars with strangers

    HY KING
     
    #47920
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