Bloke walks into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm. He says to the owner. "Do you sell fish cakes". "Of course we do..this is a fish and chip shop." "Good" said the bloke "Cos it's his birthday"
What's worse than hearing One Direction on the radio? Hearing One Direction blasting out of your teenage sons bedroom
Why is Santa always jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live. Sorry for the bad joke but a mate wrote that in my Xmas card and thought he would get his revenge on all my bad jokes over the year (most I got off of here cheers guys) so I thought I'd share it with you guys as you are just as much to blame
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... ”Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!” Pa replies, “There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse.” Ma yells back, “Yes there is, now git out there and fix it.” So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, “Ma! There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse!” Ma replies, “Stick yur head in the hole!” Pa yells back, “I ain’t stickin my head in that hole!” Ma says, “Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix.” So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, “Ma! There ain’t nuthin wrong with this outhouse!” Ma hollers back, “Now take your head out of the hole!” Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, “Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!” To which Ma replies, “Hurt’s, don’t it?!”
John Le Carré has died aged 89. An absolute giant of the spy thriller genre, too many superb titles to count really. RIP
im hoping they do a run of those films, especially with holiday time coming up. RIP, one of the very best
And a rerun of The Night Manager would be good as well. Le Carré watched it and said in a note in the Kindle edition of the book that he wished he had written the Olivia Coleman character as a woman, as she had completely owned the role.
M271 roadworks to end the week before Christmas, if anyone needs to do any last minute shopping in Southampton. Hopefully, the next major roadwork contract will be given to someone that is prepared to work a 7 day week, to shorten the amount of time the hold ups are in place for. My guess is that the contracts will go to the same usual contractors and they will maintain their Mon-Fri working week, probably citing the cost of weekend premiums. https://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/18...jor-southampton-roadworks-end-week-christmas/
