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Match Day Thread General matchday thread.

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Libby, Aug 4, 2017.

  1. pieguts

    pieguts Mentor

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    5032CC6F-0DF6-4A70-9F7B-CD5DB61A3DB0.jpeg
     
    #124561
    Peej and Tel (they/them) like this.
  2. Tobes

    Tobes Warden Forum Moderator

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    Just a thought like, but if you’ve defo locked it, and you’re finding it unlocked the next day, then some ****er has either got a key, picks your lock on a daily basis, or you’ve got a cat flap and leave the key in the door......

    Leaving a hidden camera might be a better option than setting up a decapitation device mate.

    Just saying.
     
    #124562
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  3. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Roy’s mum’s gonna pop round once they get dropped to tier 2 and end up with her canister rolling about on his kitchen floor.
     
    #124563
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  4. Peej

    Peej Fabio Borini Lover

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    don’t think he ever took roids?
     
    #124564
  5. Toonitus

    Toonitus Well-Known Member

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    The thing is I've lost quite a few keys.. I found it unlocked once or twice and just thought I'd forgotten, but more recently I noticed it having known I'd locked it... I thought back to a week earlier and i distinctly remembered being in the kitchen at 4an making my breakfast with my headphones on and getting a fright like someone was there... Ie I thought I saw someone walk behind me, but I just carried on thinking nothing of it... I literally cannot explain it, so I've taken measures today.
     
    #124565
    gooner4ever likes this.
  6. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Shush now Ian we’re talking about Roy’s psycho neighbour.
     
    #124566
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  7. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Maybe it’s the farmer coming to take his land back that you robbed.

    Or the ghost of your DD’s.
     
    #124567
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  8. Toonitus

    Toonitus Well-Known Member

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    Whatever it is I'm going to find out and it isn't getting back out this house ever again
     
    #124568
  9. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    If I was a betting man I’d say you’ve got a hostage who has developed Stockholm syndrome and you’ve forgotten all about him.
     
    #124569
    Tobes likes this.
  10. gooner4ever

    gooner4ever once a Gooner always a Gooner Forum Moderator

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    Is it Mrs Wrong ?
     
    #124570
  11. Tobes

    Tobes Warden Forum Moderator

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    All joking aside, just get a new lock tomorrow mate. Setting a trap that could seriously injure someone could land you in deep, deep ****. As you’d have done so knowingly and you had other reasonable options that didn’t include decapitation.

    Set up a stack of pans behind the door for tonight, so that it’ll either wake you up or scare someone off (or both) if they tried to gain entry.

    Trust me on this one bro.

    EDIT: or just leave the key in the door you daft ****.
     
    #124571
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  12. Toonitus

    Toonitus Well-Known Member

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    The thing is if I find someone in my house I'm not taking any chances and I will run then through...

    I've chased off two burglars before with a samurai sword and thankfully when they returned the opted to avoid my house and burgled next door.
     
    #124572
  13. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Tobes is right though bro. The law is clear on this, you can't go attacking somebody with a samurai sword even if they break into your house.

    **** house law maybe, but it'll be you that does bird on the back of it.
     
    #124573
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  14. Peej

    Peej Fabio Borini Lover

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    This sounds a lot like a tall tail.


    Lost keys, but not changing locks.. Chasing burglars off with a samari sword. Arm wrestling the queen.

    What type of area do you live in ffs. My ex many years ago as a student watched her neighbours robbed, in Middlesbrough. Right next to the Court building, I thought that place was rough.
     
    #124574
  15. Toonitus

    Toonitus Well-Known Member

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    You think I could would just make up a story like that.? I have new doors everywhere, but this one...

    I actually heard my door open and it has very distinct sound, so I knew instantly someone was breaking in... I went out on my roof above the porch they'd entered with my sword., one bolted as soon as my window opened and the other was stood at the bottom of the drive just staring at me, so I said " well go on **** off then" it's sent a shiver down my spine tbh then he ran off... The next day my neighbour reported a burglary and the police came asking me if I'd seen anything... I told them exactly what happened and they questioned why I never reported it...
     
    #124575
  16. Tobes

    Tobes Warden Forum Moderator

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    I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s literally the only reason I’ve not got a shotgun licence living out here in the sticks, as due to the scouser in me, I honestly wouldn’t trust myself not to go full on Lock Stock, if some ****er broke in. It never ends well.

    Legally, what he’s proposing is even ****ing worse btw. As he suspects someone is gaining entry with a key, yet he intends setting up some sort of violent trap as opposed to the numerous other options available to him. Starting with changing a lock or notifying the bizzies. So it’s completely premeditated and he’s not had anything stolen or damaged by any previous illegal entry. He seriously needs to engage his brain here like.
     
    #124576
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  17. Welshie

    Welshie Chavcunt fanboy dickhead

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    Now i dont often agree with peejay

    But you seem to live in a nice little spot, gardens are nice n big.

    How is schitzo amy affording this?

    I want details before making a judgement on decapitation tbh
     
    #124577
  18. Toonitus

    Toonitus Well-Known Member

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    Amy lives with her parents.. She had leukemia as child and the drugs they gave her to stay alive have given her schizophrenia...
     
    #124578
  19. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ... Forum Moderator

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    ... or Palace ...
     
    #124579
  20. Welshie

    Welshie Chavcunt fanboy dickhead

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    Off with her head mate
     
    #124580
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