Maybe this is the new normal? Newcastle fans in a constant cycle of takeover speculation. The year is 2098... Zander Reuben says he remains committed to purchasing Newcastle United just as his dad was when this started 70 odd year ago. Mike Ashley remains in charge. Mike underwent a procedure to remove his entire body maintaining only his head. He remarked on the takeover speculation that he remains committed to keeping Newcastle fans in purgatory for his entire existence. Heads can remain active following the “Fat ****ing Arsehole” procedure for up to 450 years. The fan view: @captain wrong (now 101) says he thinks “something is happening because the legal eagle acting for Newcastle posted a tweet revealing he’s attempting to cook a singin hinny” @Ben 10 (now aged 10 after an age reversing diet of chicken cottage for breakfast, lunch and dinner) says he believes “they’ll be transformed by signing the ghost of Hatem Ben Arfa rather than any bloody takeover” @jimileysbaldhead (now 139) commented “3-1”
Lol my Google feed just showed me an article in the Chron saying Rafa backed to return if takeover goes through. Give it a rest!! Surely they could at least be a bit more imaginative
...and as the 2098 season draws to a close, we see yet another hard fought battle between the two mega metropolis teams of Manliver City and Cheltottarse Hotspurs, with Manliver winning the league for the 57th time. Looking at the other leagues: It's disappointment for Sunderland as they miss out on promotion from Division 1,with the 3rd play-off spot going to Corbridge United. In a cruel twist of fate, Slayer Ameobi's (great, great grandson of Shola) magnificent 50 yard bicycle kick in the 97th minute, seals the victory of the 2nd leg, breaking the hearts of the Sunderland fans yet again.
