American Politics

If you live in the same place and always smile and chat to the staff in shops you use all the time you find that they will become more human after time, the problem is loads of people come from countries that don't have manners or limited English and the chances of seeing the same people again is small so nobody gives a ****.

9 times out of 10 if someone starts a conversation with you on the street they are going to ask you for money .

Humans aren't supposed to live in tiny pods in a massive concrete city .

Just having your own garden and a decent sized house is out of reach for most Londoners .

I love London but the real pubs are closing down and some areas are just 3rd World **** holes .

 

It's little wonder all the ****ters migrate to Brighton to be honest.

 

I used to live in Hove, cock Central

 

I sold one of my paintings so **** you.

 

To your mum to stick on the fridge

 

I was born not far from Brighton. Brighton is absolutely lovely, great place. I love seaside cities and towns, full of friendly and real people. And that wonderful fresh sea air.

 

So that purple faced Scotch drunk I gave 50p to this morning wasn't you then?

 

To the Blind Asylum?

 

A few times, I've set myself the challenge of striking up conversations with fellow tube passengers. My favourite conversation starter was politely asking a bloke if there was any particular reason he chose to hold the book he was staring at upside down. To be fair, he did see the funny side, and being honest, most people did respond positively and actually chatted.

 

Lots of junkies, homeless blue haired vegans and hippies but lovely in the summer.

 

To some connoisseurs of fine art

 

Sold.


To your mum, probably. "That's nice luv, I'll put it in the hall".
"That'll be 5 pounds please mum..."

 

Nope.

For a start I have no nationality, secondly I stay in a lovely seaside City and enjoy the fresh clean air and am suitably tanned. Thirdly I wouldn't accept money from a bell end dressed like Gary Glitter.

So to put it succinctly, you are wrong just like you always are.

Now toddle off junkie, there's a good chap.

 

I though Aberdeen stunk of fish?

 

^^^^^^ Serial Killer by day.

 

What would you know about the smell of fish gaylord?

 

My friend told me he was sitting on one of the disabled seats on the tube during rush hour and a fat gobby black woman told him to move so she could sit down her disability was eating too much .

She kept tutting and having a go at him as other passengers stared at the uncomfortable scene.
After a few stops he stood up and pretended to have rickets and slowly stumbled off the train .

Fatty sat down and had everyone giving her daggers .

True story he's dead now

R.I.P Lee

 

Si already done that one

 

Your missus posted me a pair of her knickers once

 

Probably funnier when I did it.