Shush man, i've just told him i've never been to pattaya. despite telling him 2 weeks ago, differently.
You will have to wait till next year to come over here as UK tourists cannot come at moment with UK being high risk virus place
He is no tourist - in fact you are probably shagging one of his many daughters there. You can tell them easily - they all have a Marines insignia tattooed on their left buttock.
Should give it to Man City and just cancel it they were the last team to win it legit in the orthodox manner we are all accustomed to