Coronavirus

I love you guys, thanks...

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Right now, nowhere. The website says none available and suggests paying for a private test (£150)

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coron.../get-a-test-to-check-if-you-have-coronavirus/

 

On Monty Python? I only remember that one. Still makes me laugh... the classics through semophore

 

They’re all private tests as it’s being orchestrated by Serco.

If I was the at the NHS I’d be insisting that they changed the name to Serco test, track and trace as they’re damaging the NHS brand.

 

I'll have a lem-sip.

 

Any hospital, just rock up saying your not feeling great and have shortness of breath.

 

Got the best China out, I see. You going to eat all them Jaffas?

 

I’ll have a Babycham

 

You probably would

 

Pina Colada actually. With an umbrella in it.

 

Had you down as a light n bitter man.........how wrong of me

 

Other countries have developed more efficient ways of handling large volumes of tests to increase capacity, but Serco are still treating every person's samples as two (or more) separate tests to maximise their bill to the taxpayer.

That, plus cheap student labour returning to university, is why the UK testing system is on the verge of collapse despite having months to prepare.

 

In hot water, or just do it like a line?

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How so?

 

Nothing stronger than tea these days, but Guiness back in the day

 

They're full of diseases

 

6 months on...

“Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news: there are no more tests today,” the security guard tells a disbelieving queue of people, most with children, who have been waiting in the afternoon heat by a car park in Deptford. I am among them, with my daughter Rosa who is coughing like many of the children there. It is the third time we have queued and been turned away in one day.

When I woke yesterday, Rosa had a mild cough. Over breakfast, as we were realising we would have to keep both our children off school and get tested, Priti Patel, the home secretary, came on the radio to tell us the test system was working, except in “extreme cases”.

I spent hours hammering the booking website, refreshing the page, each time having to go back to fill out the details all over again, each time getting the message: “This service is currently very busy.”

Getting nowhere with the site, we went to nearest “walk-through” centre, which I’d heard you could go to without an appointment. My first trip was at 10am. Hardly anyone was there. After a while, a security guard told me there were not enough tests, but there would be 20 more at 12.30, and we would be able to get tested.

When we came back, the queue was longer. We waited for 45 minutes with no movement. The guard suddenly announced they now had very few tests and had to prioritise key workers. The politeness in the queue evaporated.

People began waving ID cards, and making their case. A reception teacher said she hadn’t been able to teach her class for the past two days because her son was coughing.

“I put food on your shelves,” shouted a woman who worked in a supermarket, “does that not count?” Another woman complained that her son was very ill, and “loads of people getting tested here don’t have symptoms”.

We left with the promise there would be more tests at 4.30.

Our third and final attempt ended the same way, and this time there were even angrier scenes. “We’re disgusted,” said Paula and Simon Perry, who’d been trying to get an appointment for four days. They said their life was on hold: “People won’t self-isolate, if this is how it is. It’s crazy.”

“It’s absolutely bonkers, a shambles,” said Billie, a deputy specialist nurse who had been off work for several days, and whose son had just settled at secondary school, only to have to stop attending.

“We’ve just driven from south-west London, I’m a doctor. I’m booked in” shouted an exasperated woman.

“Still no more tests, I apologise,” replied a supervisor.

That was Lucy, who like many others I met had actually managed to secure an appointment there, an hour-and-a-half drive from where she lived. “To drive all this way with a confirmation and be told there are no tests is completely unacceptable,” she said.
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But more and more people across the country have faced problems with trying to book a test, and some who had been offered one have had to travel far away to be tested.

A mother-of-two from Reading, who doesn't want to be identified, told The Chronicle she was facing this issue.

She said: "My 5-year-old son had a cough so the school asked us to get him tested and only bring him back if the test comes back negative.

"I understand that the school is being cautious for other children's safety, because I would expect the same from the school if one of the other children in my child's class had similar symptoms.

"I have been continuously trying to book the test since Monday morning [September 14] and nothing is available.

"Last night my daughter, 12, also developed similar symptoms.

"It's quite disappointing to see that no plan was put in place for this. The government should have seen this coming with the schools reopening.

"How can we send our children back to school when we can see that there are no arrangements for their tests if they are sent back with any of the symptoms?

Dee Goodey, also from Reading, is desperate to get her vulnerable daughter a test.

She said: "My daughter, who has a medical disability and extreme anxiety, has been told to not go back to school.

"I turned up at Newbury Test centre after I had failed to get a test online and the test centre was empty.

"I am a key worker and I can not return to work.

"Plus if she does have the virus we need to inform people we have been in contact with."
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Key workers and parents of young children have told Sky News they have been asked to travel hundreds of miles to get a test - or been forced to stay at home due to a lack of testing capacity.

Centres across the UK have been turning people away after a backlog at laboratories caused testing to come to a halt.

Dr Claire Sillitoe, a GP working in southwest London, had to cancel face-to-face appointments with patients on Monday after failing to get a test over the weekend.

Her husband, who is also a GP, was forced to do the same. Claire was only able to conduct remote consultations and also had to cancel visits.

She told Sky News she tried "day and night" to get a test after her 11-year-old daughter fell ill with a temperature on Saturday.

In the end she had to "cheat the system" by using a Scottish postcode to get an appointment in Aberdeen and then taking the QR code it generated to her nearest centre.

She told Sky News she tried "day and night" to get a test after her 11-year-old daughter fell ill with a temperature on Saturday.

In the end she had to "cheat the system" by using a Scottish postcode to get an appointment in Aberdeen and then taking the QR code it generated to her nearest centre.

She said: "The most frustrating thing is yesterday GPs were told by the NHS we are slacking and weren't seeing enough patients face-to-face. Yet I was desperate to see patients, but I was prevented from doing so because of my daughter.

"I wasn't willing to put my patients at risk, so I was stuck in a really difficult position."

Thankfully the test came back within 24 hours, clearing the family to return to work and school on Tuesday.

But it's left Claire fearing what will happen when we reach the winter months.

She added: "Ministers have had the whole summer to prepare for everyone going back to schools and universities.

"To not have really ramped up testing capacity is very short sighted."

Meanwhile the PM...

"To the best of my knowledge".... weekly tests are happening in care homes.

Except as pointed out today in PM Questions citing a boss in the care sector, it's not.

 

He's trying to read the word Saveloy