Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in Personnel and asks to make a sexual harassment complaint against the lad. The supervisor is puzzled and asks "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you that your hair smells nice?" "It's Frank . . . . the midget."
"Pint of beer, please." "There you go. £3.90." "Thanks. Erm, is there room to put some lemonade in with it?" "Yeah, sure." "Well...fill it with f*cking beer, then."
My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities. I said, "That's great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity."
A balding, white haired man from Easterhouse in Glasgow, walked into a jewelry store in the Fort, Friday evening with a beautiful much younger woman at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring. The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.' At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000' the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.' The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick up the ring Monday afternoon.' On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, 'There was only £25 in your account.' 'I know', said the old man, 'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!!!'
I've just been looking at the NHS website as Mrs Smug has a sudden fallen arch of one foot. This is in the text of the section, "Sometimes flat feet run in families." https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/flat-feet/
