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What day of the week is it thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Guywanderer, Mar 15, 2020.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #941
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2020
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  2. Stokenchurch yid

    Stokenchurch yid Well-Known Member

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    :emoticon-0136-giggl:emoticon-0137-clapp
     
    #942
    Stokenchurch yid, Aug 16, 2020
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  3. Guywanderer

    Guywanderer Well-Known Member

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    For anyone who is stuck in France with the prospect of two weeks quarantine on your return either by plane train or ferry just a reminder the dinghies are still running<laugh>
     
    #943
    Guywanderer, Aug 16, 2020
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  4. philhythe

    philhythe Well-Known Member

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    Good one Guy
     
    #944
    philhythe, Aug 16, 2020
  5. sensiblegreeny

    sensiblegreeny Well-Known Member
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    Watching the news today and wondered what cock up Boris and his merry men had managed today. Think you should change the title of this thread to "feck up of the day" or "Does Boris know what day of the week it is".
     
    #945
    sensiblegreeny, Aug 16, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth.
    The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.
    The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.
    The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
    The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
    The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he could not talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt less so he talked for 10 minutes.
    But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
     
    #946
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #947
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2020
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Police have confirmed that they have arrested the man who fell inside a combine harvester after trying to steal it.

    He is due to be bailed tomorrow.
     
    #948
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I remember being so poor that all we had to eat was coal.

    Thinking of those times still brings a lump to my throat.
     
    #949
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2020
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    If two vegans have an argument is it beef?

    No

    Its a quornfrontation.
     
    #950
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I spent £96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein.

    It was the grater of two evils.
     
    #951
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 18, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Although my mum is from Arran, my dad from Kashmir, my maternal grandparents from Jersey and my paternal grandparents from Cardigan, we are still a close-knit family.
     
    #952
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 18, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #953
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #954
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
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  15. Stokenchurch yid

    Stokenchurch yid Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #955
    Stokenchurch yid, Aug 19, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

    The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
     
    #956
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
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  17. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    Are you making these up Woopert?<laugh>
     
    #957
    Ron, Aug 19, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Certainly not Ron ! There are a couple of good online joke sites I go on :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #958
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
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  19. sensiblegreeny

    sensiblegreeny Well-Known Member
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    Ones called not606 Portsmouth.......................................boom boom. (you load em and I'll pull the trigger Wooperts)
     
    #959
    sensiblegreeny, Aug 19, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Have you been down the pub boozing again, greeny and just got home ?! Mrs greeny won't put up with it much longer you know......
     
    #960
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
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