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**** hiring a conveyancer to do proper legal work.

 

I’d put in a decent plea for mitigation, Trebs.

You’ll be out in no time at all, mate.

Honest.

 

Oh, and that will be £500 consultation fee.

I take cards.

Thanks, mate.

 

Mitigating plea...I’ve sold two maisonettes this month.

 

Yeh but I may need to sell my house half way through! Two for the price of one with HIAG.

 

That’ll be his pro boner option.

 

Can you be my mitigating circumstance please mate? Being my lawyer should be enough.

Fwiw I'd love to hear you do the whole "You can't handle the truth!" spiel at the judge

 

I have a feeling HIAG will argue to the jury it was just the flu

 

What a smack in the face that was.

 

I'm sure you could get an app for it dude......what about chipping the kids like dogs.

What about chucking out the ****phile lobby in Westminster

 

Trebs you need a proper brief who has one of the finest legal brains ever, where the **** is Roofie when Trebs needs him.

PS have you kept your Pizza Express receipts and do you sweat much.

PPS do we now have to call HRH Trebs

 

There's a **** lobby in Westminster?

 

yes mate, it’s the last turn in the right, just passed the cafe

 

Hold the fck on, it was hypothetical on the basis of being innocent ffs!

If there was any truth to the allegation I suggest anyone pull out all the stops and get the same brief @emerald used to get off!

 

Wasn't getting off the problem in the first place?

 

Careful.

This lot are not ready to confront that particular white elephant sitting in their lap, in the room.

 

WTF
A white elephant is a possession that is useless or troublesome, especially one that is expensive to maintain or difficult to dispose of.

 

Did you mean to say "that particular elephant in the room?"

Because otherwise it makes no sense.

 

True.

And it ****s 30KG each go.

Not the kind of event that tends to endear itself to a house proud wife or girlfriend.

 

30kgs of **** you say.....

Dropped from a decent height?