Off Topic Lighten Up - have a laugh: Warning, may contain Adult Material

Good grief, Ste D!

Ron, works fine on my old PC!

 

Ah. If I click on Youtube it shows OK. Will have to watch later though

 

They don't make em like that anymore...

 

A poster on YouTube said he switched to porn when his parents walked in, because it was easier to explain.

 

Another one why not

 

A bloke called Mario Wienerroither posts lots of these on YouTube. I love his Elvis. For ****'s sake.

Blue suede shoes.

 

I slipped away from my wife's bed at the clinic for a quiet word with the doctor. I asked him, "how soon after the procedure will I be able to make love with my wife?"


He replied, "Do you know, that's the first time I've ever been asked that, in all the years I've worked at Dignitas."

 

Jim Jefferies does a favour for a good friend.

 

An article from the Onion. It's in connection with the removal of Trump from the press briefing where a shooting took place outside the White House.

WASHINGTON—Clarifying their actions surrounding their abrupt removal of the president from the White House press room, Secret Service officials confirmed to reporters Tuesday that they had escorted Donald Trump from his briefing to fulfill their promise of letting him watch them shoot someone.

“As soon as we heard reports of an armed suspect on White House grounds, we immediately moved the president to a secure location where he’d be able to watch us fill that bastard with lead,” said Secret Service director James M. Murray, commending agents for quickly springing into action to interrupt the briefing and neutralize the threat of the president not getting to see a guy get shot in front of his eyes.

“Of course, ensuring the president has a front-row seat to our agents mowing down a guy in the Rose Garden is Secret Service protocol, but we don’t always see it put into action, unfortunately.

It was an incredibly stressful moment, especially trying to usher him into position, but I was so relieved to see that big smile on the president’s face. There have been some close calls over President Trump’s tenure, especially in Lafayette Square back in June, so we’re just glad we were able to get him out there yesterday in time to watch the whole thing unfold.”

The Secret Service also confirmed that they had taken the additional step of sequestering Vice President Mike Pence at an unspecified remote location during the threat so that he could watch the agents shoot someone through a telescope.

 

One for Cyc

 

The wife brought home a tub of ice-cream and asked if I wanted some. "How hard is it?" I asked.
She cheekily replied,
"As hard as your cock when you're thinking about me naked!".
I said "Go on then, pour me a glass....."