What is so special about breasts? Haven't you seen any before? See one pair and you've seen them all.
My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
Have you ever noticed that the Aussies ask questions then try and guess the answer? For example Where do you put your rubbish? Skip? What's your favourite colour? Blue? What's your name? Sheila?
Occurred to me that it’s about time the Colosseum was demolished and don’t get me started on Hadrians Wall.
The wall will be needed when Scotland leaves the union and there's a hard border with the EU. Och eye
I left out the pyramids because recent evidence suggests that no slaves were involved...it was winter work for farm workers and they were well fed and looked after.
That would involve giving up part of England. When it comes to.being an annoying know it all, I’m on a roll
Just spotted Sinead O'Connor bird-watching. I asked her how she was getting on. She said, "so far it's been 7 owls and 15 jays".
God wants a holiday but can't decide where to go. St Peter said why not go to Earth? God replied you have got to be kidding. Last time I went to Earth I met a Virgin girl called Mary and they haven't stopped talking about it for over two thousand years.
Anyway St Peter convinces God to give Earth another go and he is walking through a park when he sees these two beautiful statues one of a naked man and one of a naked woman. God Is so moved that he brings the statues to life. He told them to have a wonderful life and do what ever they want then disappeared. The naked woman looks around and can no longer see the naked man but can hear a strange noise coming from the bushes. The naked man calls the naked woman into the bushes. The naked woman asks what do you want? The naked man replied Hold this f**king pigeon whilst I crap on it.
