This is in preparation for the upcoming event. copy and paste the below and post onto your family members. I have taken your (insert favourite pet or treasured item). If the following demands are met they will be returned unharmed. You are not to allowed to purchases any of the following items. World's greatest Dad mug Giant Toblerone A beer glass with the lettering "Dad's Beer' Socks Personalised book depicting your life in photos, I don't care. So called amusing cooking apron A sign saying Dad's garage or shed Anything your mum suggests starting with the words "just get him" Tools Vouchers of any kind A coupon book of hugs or promises that you have no intention of keeping Cinema tickets Autobiographies of some sports person At this point I advise you to take this list seriously and as a guide, do the right thing and buy me a bottle of good red wine so that we can all move on from this shambles of a day and live in moderate peace once again. Yours sincerely Dad.
The 21st is Father’s Day and also my youngest daughter’s birthday - she was born on Father’s Day in 1998 and still the best present I have had.
My very first fathers day present was a pair of Ray Ban Aviators. Got good taste my eldest, even when he was a baby! They've still not got a scratch on them.
My Mrs has bought me Tom Ford Costa Azzurra, from our kids, with my credit card, because I told her that’s what I wanted. Tbh, I’m hoping I get a mug as well.
Best present my kids can give me is if they can go to bed nicely so i can f*ck their mother. Any ideas how I could word that tastefully in a letter like the OP?
tryin to get a quick shag in with the missus when the kid is having a bath. Don't put that in your letter btw
I find it less offensive thank thinking you would leave a young child in the bath alone while you enjoy yourselves in another room.
I feel your pain. I've not slept in my own bed in weeks. During Covid, everyone now goes to bed at the same time and my middle un won't go to bed unless he goes in our bed. I therefore sleep in his. Just woke up in it again! The dog comes up and sleeps on his rug so I at least have company.
Gotta take your opportunities when you can. Otherwise you'll end up like @Chief sleeping with a Border Terrier
