Went to check into a local hotel, and there where some Chess players talking about how many tournaments they had won, so I walked straight out! Can't stand that ... chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
A guy went to the ski hire place and asked for a set of skis. Guy says "Sorry, this is a tobboganists". "Oh, well in that case I'll have 20 Benson & Hedges" ba-dom-tsh
I broke down in my car next to teh road, so I got out to fix it ... A drunk man walked passed "whit happened man?" "piston broke!" "Ah know that feelling!"
It's for the jocks ... Brendan Rogers (as in he ****s people up the arse) Walt Disney (if you were Scottish this would be undrstood as Walt Doesn't)
A guy arrives an hour late for work. Manager asks him what happened. "I broke down," he says. "Anything serious?" asks the manager. "I don't know. I just suddenly started crying uncontrollably and had to pull over until I felt better."
Exit signs .. they're on the way out! I went to buy a tent the other day, the assitant said "To camp", so i lowered my voice and asked again!
my potato gun was confiscated by the U.N. they said i wasn't allowed to have weapons of mash destruction. ill go.
I went to but a mobile holiday home and asked if there was anything suitable, the assitant said "camper", so I put on a gay voice and asked again! Laters ... lunchtime over!
