No, he was already one before I met him! ----------------------------- I'd love to get to Bangor ----------------------------- Walt Disney!
Man A: My wife is away to the Carribean for her holidays! Man B: Jamaica ? Man A: No, she wanted to go! ------------------------------- Man A knocks door, Man B answers Man A: Is your wife in? Man B: She's at Arbroath! Man A: Ok, I'll wait till she finished! ------------------------------------------ Man A: The wife is away to the artic circle! Man B: Alaska? Man A: No need, I'm telling the truth! --------------------------------------
... Noel Gallagher walked into a chip shop and asked for a bag of chips "You want a Roll wi' that" "Don't you ****ing start" ------------------------------- Walked into the Butchers and he was leaning against the radiator. I pointed at counter: "Is that yer Ayrshire Bacon?" "No, Am just warming ma troosers!"
Went into B&Q and and guy dressed in Orange asked if I wanted Decking...so I kicked him in the baws! Two ariels got married...ceremony was crap but the reception was great!
Took my dog to the vets for a check up... Vet picked it up and then said "I'm sorry, I'll have to put it down" "Why, is it serious?" "No, it's too heavy"
I went out on my canoe yesterday but it was too cold ... So today I went out with a few three bar fires in it and it sank! Well, you can't have your kayak and heat it!