Coronavirus

Never mind take the piss, I recommend running them out the house with a pitchfork.

My whole family thinks my niece’s new boyfriend is the bees knees. He seems like a very nice chap, but I’m reserving judgement til I’ve shook his hand.

 

In about 2 years then?

 

Yeah, he’s on probation till then


In other social distancing news, I notice the elbow bump is making a comeback. Not sure if it’s okay, but if offered it seems rude not to reciprocate.

 

Me and the old man elbow bumped the otherday when I went for a visit.

Proper G my old man

 

It is. But...(you knew it was coming )...
The 100,000 per day test target being hit last Thursday was false. It included 40,000 tests that were sent out in the post which they had not recieved back...so they had no idea if they had been done or not. Since Friday the has not been another day that they have done a 100,000 tests in a day.

It's like claiming a pair of gloves is 2 PPE items...it may be true but it a game...1 glove is pointless after all.

It is one thing to use spin to justify everyday political decisions (which I disagree with) but this stuff is up there with, or maybe beyond, Blair's Labour Government lying about WMDs to justify a war against Iraq.

To avoid this situation a group made up of all parties should have been formed so it became about genuine accountability rather than a party political event where MPs become disengenuious with statements and facts in order to protect their party.

 

I believe the two handed titty squeeze may soon become very fashionable, provided there is sufficient material covering said globes... @Suckmyklopp perhaps you could explore this for us with the next policewoman you see?

 

The Premier league are considering restarting the season in June, possibly in closed neutral stadiums as fans can't keep 2m apart in all directions.

Manchester City will be allowed to play at home in front of their usual crowd as Social distancing has never been a problem at the Etihad!

 

Good one.

 

Social distancing has never been a problem for Saints defenders either tbf.

 

Only 400,000 and one order I know.

However, this was the order that the government championed when PPE-gate was its zenith

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...irms-400000-turkish-gowns-are-useless-for-nhs

 

Handshakes are Soooooooo!! Outdated mate

 

Damning ... looking more and more like this was a panic response to the flak they were getting for us not joining the EU procurement scheme ... why wasn't sample equipment reviewed BEFORE we placed the order? ... the cynic in me would say because the prime objective was for Hancock to be able to say that going solo was just as quick as via the EU ... no time to actually evaluate what crap we were going to get ... bumbling twats

 

Gay

 

Because the order wasn't even placed until after it had been announced at the press conference. Just hopeful thinking with zero preparation, followed by a desperate scramble to solve the PR issue rather than the health issue.

 

In a rare moment of defence of our Eton sixth form government, we aren’t the only ones to be stung by dodgy gear. Speed was everything and he’d have been hammered for waiting for however long to sample the order.

Obviously there’s a whole load of **** just on PPE they should be nailed for.

 

We've just had a sing song at work to lift spirits during the lock down.
**** me, it was bad

 

I feel your pain. If I get one more inspirational meme featuring a platitudinous quote written over a sunrise, I’m going tonto.

 

Holy ****. Whichever manager organised that needs shooting in the bollocks.

 

Jeez I bet that was fun
I once went in B@Q early one Saturday and they had all the staff doing the Oakey coakey.
Very bullshot twee crap