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Hitler discovers that golf has been banned in Australia. https://www.captiongenerator.com/1751992/Covid-19-Golf
All the government's coronavirus f**k-ups, a timeline 23rd April 2020 please log in to view this image LOSING track of exactly which government f**k-up came when? Follow our pandemic timeline: January – Government issues official guidelines to stop talking about some virus in China and instead celebrate a Tory victory and Brexit February 6th – Brighton man who has infected ten people given very stern dressing-down February 21st – Italy locked down. Whitehall responds by ruefully shaking its head at their Latin foolishness March 10th – Outbreak declared a pandemic. Boy chancellor Rishi Sunak makes major concession by mentioning it in his budget March 12th – Risk raised from moderate to high. Government reluctantly advises over-70s with pre-existing medical conditions to avoid cruises, but promises the restrictions will stop there March 13th – London Marathon, football, the Six Nations and local elections all cancelled. Cheltenham allowed to continue because it’s not people, it’s horses March 16th – Boris Johnson tells everyone not to go to pubs while leaving them open, because that makes sense March 18th – Schools closed from the end of the week because you can’t just finish school on a Wednesday March 20th – The prime minister closes pubs and restaurants, though emphasises what a shame it is and if everyone has one last night on the sauce he certainly wouldn’t blame them. Everyone goes the pub March 23rd – Full lockdown announced, Britain trailing only France, Spain, Belgium, Switzerland, Croatia, Austria, the Czech Republic, Slovakia and a few others March 27th – The prime minister tests positive for coronavirus. Britain informed this is sad and unfortunate, not a dickhead ignoring his own advice April 1st – The government begins its rigorous programme of not doing nearly enough testing and being offended when journalists point it out April 6th – Boris Johnson goes into intensive care an hour after Dominic Raab claimed they had been shooting hoops together April 12th – Johnson leaves hospital for a well-earned country break April 15th – The care minister suddenly remembers care homes April 22nd – Targets for tests continue to be missed by 76 per cent, PPE continues to be shipped abroad and then slowly back here, and deaths continue at the level we were told was the peak a fortnight ago. Raab reassures Britain everything is fine.
October 2016 – Operation Cygnus’s report is classified. A swan-song for Europe, thinks Jeremy ‘Zack’ Hunt.
please log in to view this image "Wash thirteen times a day in Domestos, dry yourself on a sunbed each time for two hours, then inject a quart of Dettol, it's so simple, I've been doing it all my life and I look great, don't I look great? people always say I look great"
