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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12741
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    WHAT DO WE WANT?

    Hearing aids!

    WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?

    Hearing aids!
     
    #12742
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12743
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12744
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12745
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12746
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12747
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12748
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12749
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12750
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12751
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12752
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12753
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12754
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Patient - Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's and T's properly

    Doctor - Well, you can't say fairer than that
     
    #12755
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% IN AN EXAM - AND HOW HE DID IT! Personally, I would have given him 100%✅

    Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?

    * His last battle

    Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

    * At the bottom of the page

    Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?

    * Liquid

    Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?

    * Marriage

    Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

    * Exams

    Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?

    * Lunch & dinner

    Q7. What looks like half an apple?

    * The other half

    Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?

    * It will simply become wet

    Q9. How cansomeone go eight days withoutsleeping?

    * No problem just sleeps at night

    Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

    * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

    Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?

    * Very large hands

    Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

    * No time at all, the wall is already built

    Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

    *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

    A little sarcasm in there!
     
    #12756
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12757
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.THANK YOU!
     
    #12758
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Arsehole parks in ‘Disabled’ canoe space outside supermarket up north......

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    #12759
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12760
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