I don't usually do these "fave this and that" threads but I heard a quote last night that made me laugh and thought I'd ask for yours. It was on The League of Gentlemen: [a policeman is questioning Tubbs when Edward enters] Edward: Hello, hello. What's going on, what's all this shouting we'll have no trouble here. Tubbs: He's looking for a boy. Edward: ****ter, eh? Little bummer boy. Come before your type in the forces, you won't catch me with my trousers down! Any more?
taffy in the office: -'You think we care as much about your baby as you do? Just cos you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff...well done! Merry ****ing christmas!' nailed
Predators Walton Goggins "when I get back home I'm going to do some coke and rape me some fine bitches"
Fawlty Towers - Mrs Robinson. 'I asked for a room with a view, where's the sea ?' 'It's over there between the land and the sky' 'Well it's not good enough' 'May I ask what you expected to see from a Torquay hotel bedroom window, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Leaning tower of Piza, herds of wilderbease fleecing majestically.....' Sorry, I'm an old ****
There were some belters in the Office: David Brent: I'd like to make a complaint please Rowan: Don't care David Brent: Well I am staying at the hotel... Rowan: Don't care, it's not my shift David Brent: Well you're an ambassador for the hotel... Rowan: I don't care David Brent: I think you'll care when I tell you what the complaint is... Rowan: I don't ca... David Brent: I think there's been a rape up there! David Brent: ...I got his attention. Get their attention. FT was full of them: "Hello?... Ah, yes Mr O'Reilly, well it's perfectly simple. When I asked you to build me a wall I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together... you know, one on top of another, in the traditional fashion. "
"Have you ever been to Wales, Baldrick?" "No, but I've often thought I'd like to." "Well don't, it's a ghastly place. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men roam the valleys terrifying people with their close harmony singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the placenames. Never ask for directions in Wales Baldrick, you'll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight."
Blackadder: Tell me, young crone, is this Putney? Young Crone: [cackling] That it be! That it be! Blackadder: "Yes, it is," not "That it be". And you don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me, I'm not a tourist! I seek information about a Wise Woman. Young Crone: The Wise Woman? The Wise Woman?! Blackadder: Yes. The Wise Woman. Young Crone: Two things, my Lord, must ye know of the Wise Woman. First... she is a woman! And second... she is... Blackadder: Wise? Young Crone: [normal] You do know her, then? Blackadder: No, just a wild stab in the dark - which, incidentally, is what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful!
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a ****. You're a **** now, and you've always been a ****. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger ****. Maybe have some more **** kids. Harry: [furious] Leave my kids ****ing out of it! What have they done? You ****ing retract that bit about my **** ****ing kids! Ken: I retract that bit about your **** ****ing kids. Harry: Insult my ****ing kids? That's going overboard, mate! Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?
Clouseau: Does your dog bite? Hotel Clerk: No. Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie. [Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand] Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite! Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.
Not everybody's cup of tea, but there have been some crackers on Peep Show: - "She raped you?" - "No, nothing went up my bum!" - "Nobody said it was bum rape Mark." "I'm a dirty hobbit and she's a sexy elf so she might be... "Oh! You dirty hobbit. Take off my bodkin and my jerkin." "Oh, yeah... pixie ears. But that sword." What if she was a hobbit slayer? I'd just use my enchanted amulet. "Yeah. Yield to me, hobbit-slayer. You will touch my magic cock" "Super Hans got a bass loop for our track that is so good that when he tried turning it off, he physically couldn't do it. "
