Get absolutely leathered, find a slapper later on, back to hers for the night, and then wander into the villa as cool as you like at breakfast time stinking of ale and minge. That’ll sort it mate.
Do you fancy going on holiday together mate? You’re right on my level. There’s a slappy bird in the corner I spotted earlier, no older than 65, she’s defo giving me the eye. No chance I’ll catch owt off her cos she’s probably not seen a cock since the 90’s.
Well the cockneys have ****ed off. Rugby is on the tele, can’t figure out what that game is all about, grown men grabbing each other’s balls every 2 minutes and lots of running.
I’ve had an apology text, let’s meet up at the cocktail bar near the villa... ffs. I’m enjoying myself here.
... and even the Lilo copped off with some half cut Chelsea fan from Milton Keynes and they all lived happily ...
I was going to then read this and felt iffy so will wait til you've completed scratching before proceeding