I was playing football and the ball smacked me right on the nob. Cue fifteen minutes of my nob burning like the end of a welder's torch. I ended up with NSU, six weeks off the drink and spunking into a jonny after convincing the girlfriend that I hadn't been ****ing about.
Catching your foreskin in a zip isn't great either. Mind you, I canlt think of anything more painful than catching a football bang in the face
I was at a bus stop last night and felt soemthing on my ear - went to brush it off and realised a wasp had stung me on the finger. I started leaping up and down in pain - everyone in the queue must have thought I was a complete loony.
Pissing razorblades is brutally painful! I counteracted this by getting extremely drunk until i was sorted, this way i pissed more but it didnt hurt at all
A lad in our school ran into the toilets, slipped slid along and basically crashed his nuts into the sticky out bit of a urinal. He screamed. pissed blood and was forever known as womble (one ball)
