Absolutely agree. It's when people queue behind the solitary person at the bar, rather than actually spread across the bar. You also get the unassertive young man who is in front of you, because you understand pub etiquette you respect that order. Unfortunately, no one else does including those behind the bar. Mrs A actually thinks I enjoy going out drinking
I cant remember what I had for tea but I always remember who was stood at the bar before me & who came after. I always put the bar person right if they come to me too early & also if they go to others before me.
Absolutely agree with and follow those principles Ben. You clock who's there as soon as you approach the bar. You certainly recognise anyone who arrives after. Why can barmen not do that these days? Understandable in a busy pub, was talking to a barman in a very quiet Beach Tree at dinner time today. He was comparing this week to same day last week when the sun and everybody was out. He'd completed 7000 steps today. Last week was18000. So they would make mistakes with who's next, but at least try and don't leave it to the punters. Not everyone shares Ben and I's values.
Not seen it for a couple of years but the pub rules at Christmas list always makes me nod in agreement.
Supermarket ettiquette: Let someone, with just a few items, in front if you have a big shop Always place the customer divider/marker down for the next person, on the check-out belt Always thank the check-out employee - but they must thank you too.
Found them, aimed at the one month a year pub dwellers. I go with most of them except maybe the Hot Girls one, serving them first gives me less to ogle. XMAS AT THE STOKE INN, PLYMOUTH - THE COMPLETE RULES FOR FESTIVE DRINKERS POSTED ON FACEBOOK BY LANDLORD STEVE BOWEN It's that festive time of year when decent, honest boozers are plagued by non-drinkers. And not real non-drinkers, not people who don't ever drink, they're fine. We're talking about people who don't go near a pub for 11 months out of the year, the kind of awful human beings who buy their beer from supermarkets with the weekly shop, people who consume such a laughable quantity of alcohol that they can only be designated as 'non-drinkers'. Whether it's the Christmas work's do or a festive drink with friends, you are ruining pubs for the rest of us. Everyone hates you. DO NOT APPROACH THE BAR UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT * The bar is an intricate machine full of separate-yet-interconnecting cogs. It is NOT the place to think or choose or decide. The engine only works if everyone knows their place and performs their function. Do you hear that collective groan as you ask the bartender if they've got cranberry juice? Or as you turn around to ask Barbara what she wants to drink? That groan is you single-handedly sucking life away from your fellow drinkers. Make a decision first, then go to the bar and order what you've selected. Just like ANY OTHER FORM OF COMMERCE! DON'T START DRINKING AT 4pm * You're NOT a drinker. We haven't seen you all year. You're an amateur, so don't start out with a marathon. You can't just rock up to the Premier League one day saying 'I'm match fit, lads!' This is why you're puking and crying before nine o'clock at night. YOU ARE IN A ROUND * I don't care who you're with, how many of you there are or how well you know them. You are in a round with all the people you came in with. That's how it works. You see those twenty-five loud, burly, drunken rugby players on the other side of the pub? They are a pleasure to serve compared to you. They order eight pints of lager, eight pints of Guinness, six pints of bitter and three Jack Daniels, then they pay the bill in one fell swoop. Your group orders ten drinks one-at-a-time and then pays for them all one-at-a-time as the rest of pub creeps closer to Death's eternal grasp waiting for you to finish, despite the fact nine of you are drinking the same drink and the last person, THE LAST PERSON, wants a Guinness putting on. Every single person waiting to get served wants your group to die in a complicated house fire. KNOW WHERE YOU ARE * Look around you. What kind of drinking establishment are you in? Is it a pub or a bar? If there's 85 lads watching football on the telly, stop trying to be a drunk, flirty attention-w**** because it won't work. If the walls are cluttered with offers of 6 shots of neon sourz for a fiver, don't try asking for that single malt whiskey you memorized from Mad Men. Equally, if it's a pub adorned with wood furnishings and hand-pulls, stop trying to get the landlord to make that s***ty cocktail you saw on Sex And The City HOT GIRLS GET SERVED FIRST * Welcome to Western Civilization. iPHONE ETTIQUETTE * Okay, the music isn't great. It's nothing to write home about. But it's been specifically selected to offend the least amount of people. It's background music. If you want anything else, then you want to be at a club or a gig. If, however, you've decided to 'do the pub a favour' by blaring out a playlist from your iPhone, then you are a t***. A prize, prize t***. Other expletives come to mind. Likewise don't get offended if the barman politely gives you a pound and rejects all six Abba songs you paid for. ATTRACTING ATTENTION * Newsflash: You are NOT next. You might have been in the bar queue longer than anybody else, but that doesn't mean you're next. Do you know why? Because there are no 'Official Rules Of Queueing At The Bar.' The bartender is 100% in charge of who is next. So do not p*** them off. Yes, they can see you. You do not need to bang your change on the top of the bar. You do not need to wave your money around in the air, as if you're the only person in the room with a tenner (unless it's a strip club). You especially do not need to click your fingers like a Parisian cafe p**** or whistle like a shepherd herding his flock. These tactics will only achieve one outcome: no matter how long you've been waiting up until this point, you've just moved yourself to the back of the queue. PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT * If an old bloke sat at the bar gets served before you do, and the bartender knows him by name and even seems to know what he's drinking before he orders it - that's Bob. Bob drinks here all the time. Bob drinks here five times a week, every week. Bob's custom pays the bills. Bob and the other Regulars keep the pub open eleven months of the year whilst you're having dinner parties and bulk-buying booze from the supermarket. Yes, they get preferential treatment. Accept it. TIME IS TIME (sometimes) * Pubs don't stop serving because they hate you (that's a lie, sometimes they do) or because it's funny or because they get bored of selling beer. It's a legal requirement for them to stop serving at a designated time. Once Time is called, they are legally unable to sell anymore beer. You cannot cajole them into selling more, because it's a legal requirement. You cannot bribe them into selling more, either with the promise of drinks or money, because it's a legal requirement. You cannot reason or argue them into selling more, because it's a legal f***ing requirement. 'Who's gonna know? There's nobody around, I won't tell anyone.' THAT'S HOW THE HOLOCAUST STARTED! See you in twelve months.
Not the same as the bar etiquette though. I don't normally get into big rounds (probably cos I'm an anti social, tight twat) but if I had, should I let the ol' fella in first for his half a mild. I learnt early doors that you always end up getting into a spat with some twat who'll take advantage of what they interprete as indecision/kindness/weakness.
Jack Dee does a bit on supermarket queues, where he 's next up with a trolley load, when someone arrives behind him with just a loaf of bread, so he asks "is that all you've got", and when they say yes, he says "well you might as well **** off now, I'm going to be hours".
I would add: Place the basket so it nests inside the one at the top of the stack underneath the check-out belt. Don't be a lazy **** and just dump it somewhere near the checkout. Begin packing bought items in your bags in a brisk and business-like fashion while the check-out employee scans out your other purchases. Don't be a **** and only start packing after you have paid. You may elicit tuts and impatient sighs, or even muttered "FFS" comments from other better organised shoppers. Always replace your trolley back in the trolley shelter.
Used to be like that in Linnet...and also they would huddle in a corner to cry / commiserate about stuff / comfort each other. Normally I’m very tolerant (sort of) but even I had to say “excuse me...any chance of serving me please?...you can all cry as much as you want then”
Must have been reading this thread... https://www.standard.co.uk/tech/fac...aff-whos-next-in-queue-for-pint-a4203011.html
I'd agree with nearly all of that, save for "Hot girls get served first". I don't care how big your tits are love, if I'm spitting feathers, you'll ****ing well wait like everybody else. I'm sure the bloke next to you has a 12 inch cock, it doesn't get him a beer any quicker.
