I was once the kid who threw a shoe in the woods. Me Ma bought me these rancid Cornish pasties, they were the ugliest ****ing things you’ve ever seen. Some two tone aberration in beige, with added suede just to increase the rank factor. I wore them once at school and the response was predictable, so one of them got lobbed on the way home. She looked at me with the glare and asked me clean out if I’d lobbed it. I felt like saying ‘have a ****ing look Ma ffs, you couldn’t have made me look any more of a **** if you’d written **** on my forehead in 2” letters’. but I didn’t obvs.
Apart from that pair I'm wearing. But yeah, what is it with that one shoe thing ? Goes along with stuff like a bike wheel, oily rag, some tarpaulin, strange old brown glass bottle that looks like it's from the 1950s
...and what you think is one rather thick page from Penthouse... until you realise it's the whole mag, just the pages are stuck together.
When I was a lad, the ONLY source of porn was a few well stashed pages from a porno mag in somebody's woodland den. 12 year old lads don't know how easy they've got it these days.
You could always tell the class of an area by the porn mags in the local woodland. Penthouse very middle-class. A copy of Razzle scummy hag porn and it was best to leave before dark. Oh and Penthouse was overrated ****e.
Everyone had at least one mate who’s auld fella had an extensive collection didn’t they? My best mates old man had a massive stash of all kinds of filth, the mucky old ****. The cardboard bottom of the old Adidas bag was dead handy for lifting and stashing the contraband to get it home undetected (and back again lol)
It wasn't until VHS video became popular that the real treasure vaults of your mate's old man's porn stash really came to life. Remember watching some ****ing sketchy porn ****e round a mate's house when his parents were up the pub. Milky white skin and massive bushes
Ah taking me down memory lane there, happy days Btw the letters... never underestimate the letters. The things that happened between leaders of Girl Guides and Scouts on camping trips... if only!
Coming from someone who thought women came with staples across the bellybutton Trust mate, the letters were often better than the pictures.
I see Mo Salah is getting hammered online over asking for second chances for his mate who apparently is a serial sex pest that harasses women.
Skye is getting ridiculous for being with me constantly now. She's actually got her own bedroom but when I tell her to go back there she looks at me like I'm stupid. I closed my bedroom door but she knows how to knock the handle down and open the ****er. This has been every night for about a week.
